Some definitions:
Emetophobia: Phobic like fear of vomiting. I haven’t personally vomited since 2013, although there surely should have been some times I should have.
Agoraphobia: Having an extreme or irrational fear of entering open or crowded places, of leaving one’s own home, or of being in places from which escape is difficult.
I personally experienced trauma leading into, and into the pandemic which has led me, at the worst, completely homebound through 2020, to within a 5-mile driving radius of home this year. It’s not the first period of my life I’ve experienced Agoraphobia, either, although I’ve always been able to recover, eventually, through daily exposure therapy. Family dying, divorces, etc; there have been some traumatic moments that have led into each period for sure.
I was pushing 300lbs (I’m 5’11") in 2018/2019, I’m down to 270 now and the pain in my knee joints has subsided for the most part. I do workouts in VR (Supernatural) and meditate with Headspace, although, I should do more, more often!
I seem to have GERD-like symptoms and for as long as I can remember, I only seem to have a bowel movement every 2-3 days. One of the issues I experience while driving is that once I start to become highly anxious, I become quite nauseous. I also think I have some motion sensitivity issues. I’ve begun tracking my Blood Pressure lately, too, and I’m often near Stage 1 HBP. I was also tracking my blood sugar there for a bit, which always seemed to be on the higher side.
I used to eat mostly vegan with the ex-wife, then upon meeting my new partner, she eats garbage, pizza rolls, chips. My diet changed pretty rapidly and it makes me wonder how this impacts mood. The mornings I remember to mix up my Huel Black and throw in 500mg of magnesium, I have pretty awesome energy and experienced marked less anxiety for the day.
I just placed an order for Huel RTD, 4x 400kcal bottles a day = 1,600 calories. Of course, I’m not going to suddenly just switch over in a day, I want to start with 2x a day and work up from there. I had been buying Soylent RTD off and on through Instacart for a bit, then questioned why don’t I just order Huel RTD. Besides, Huel has 400kcal vs 320 of the Soylent stuff, more of a meal than a snack.
I think my major issue in all things is consistency. I’ve really lost my ability to focus and my flow state through this round of trauma. It was so bad in 2020 that I couldn’t sit down and focus on something for more than 5 minutes. That’s getting better, playing video games and work is becoming easier. I just wonder how far I’d be if I would actually work out more often during the week, meditate, and figure out my diet. I seem to do well for a week or so, then fall off the wagon.
Do we have any other panic disorder, agoraphobic members around these parts? I’d love to hear how Huel has helped you and if nutrition, in general, has affected your quality of life!