📓 Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss


#92

Day 36

Weight: 58.0kg im trying so hard not to rejoice yet but THIS IS MY FIRST GOAL WEIGHT!!! that I set for myself to hit by the end of May! :tada::tada::tada: Ok now let’s just keep this up for a coupla days xD

Food Intake: (1515kcal)

  • 1/3 of CoffeeNewHuel, ChocFS
  • 1/2 of 112g Huel, 3g MatchaFS I was legit so happy eating this: the phrase “WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!” rang through my head and I was literally grinning as I sipped on this LOL
  • 105g Huel Granola ngl I’m stress-eating Huel Granola hahaha I guess it’s not the worst thing to stress eat.
  • 2 brioche buns
  • Dinner—chicken, broccoli w nooch, 5 cherry tomatoes, 93g nectarine
  • cs buns & 1 Sains bun

Exercise: 1.5h Ultimate Frisbee Match

Other Observations:

  • I really do stress-eat food… :confused: Was really stressed today and couldn’t stop eating huel granola & bread
  • Came back from the match (it was so cold outside!) and was staaaaarving I went full out Nom mode on cherry tomatoes, broccoli, chicken, bread…you know you’re hungry when you want to binge out on cherry tomatoes and broccoli and chicken :joy:

#93

@GTIPuG hahaha thanks! I’ll probably try to fit cake into my calorie allowance and accept it just won’t be a very balanced day…especially since I have no idea what plans might happen! (like surprise cake/meals out with friends and where etc)

I guess I really do want to enjoy it, but am trying to figure out if eating so much junk will ACTUALLY be enjoyable or just make me feel like crap…and may feel pressured into eating junk because my friends bought it for me/want me to. (+gaining weight isn’t the best birthday present xD)

@Luffers I’m glad to hear that, hope it’s been informative! (And good job on getting through 120+ posts :stuck_out_tongue: ) Welcome to Huel!!

Re: Your q on liquid calories — yup, you’d be surprised how easily liquid calories can stack up, especially alcohol! And, Huel’s liquid no? :stuck_out_tongue: I don’t often drink soft drinks simply because I never grew up drinking them and would rather eat cake or cookies for the same calories :slight_smile:

If you really do enjoy Pepsi, you don’t HAVE to give it up!

  1. You can fit it into your daily calorie allowance. (1 can has 150kcal)
  2. You can switch to Diet Pepsi (although just beware of artificial sweeteners)

Feel free to ask if you have more questions :slight_smile:

@Squizzle hahaha thanks man


#94

Cool thread yo
I’m lurking here daily


#95

Thank you!

Yesterday, I didn’t move off the couch, but just read your entire thread. I very much enjoyed reading your journey and your ups and downs… I hope I can keep up with updating my own thread (I’ve started it just now):heart_eyes:

I probably will still have the odd can of Pepsi, but never the zero/diet… it just doesn’t taste right :see_no_evil::joy: I like the real sugar taste :heart_eyes: I used to drink tons of smoothies and iced fruit drinks too, especially the Costa mango ones! I didn’t actually think to check their calorie content :scream::see_no_evil:
I’ve just made my second shake, using the banana flavour and oh my… it’s so overly sweet! I love sweet things… but I should have used half the little pouch!

I did actually just download the mfp app too. I will definitely start inputting everything I’m consuming… should give me a good indication of either going over or under whilst I’m starting out… is it easy to add the Huel? I’ve not got scales so going by scoops?!


#96

Day 37

I haven’t had my Huel yet but I just had to share this hilarious exchange: so I was on the phone with my dad and said
"I love Huel!!!"
to which my poor daddy dearest replied
"I love you too!"
I hadn’t the heart to tell him otherwise…I definitely do love him too though! :stuck_out_tongue: #HuelSuperFans

Weight: 57.9-58.1kg

Food Intake: (1426kcal)

  • 56g NewHuel, 2.5g cocoa
  • 56g Huel, 1.5g MatchaFS
  • 100g Konjak noodles (9kcal) + 1/2 packet tomato sauce (33kcal)
  • 2 brioche & cs 4
  • 1 nectarine
  • 60g Huel Granola LOL I looove Huel Granola I literally munched on this for 1.5h while doing work…fulfills my need for munching endlessly, and it’s not as sugary as regular Sainsbury’s Granola that I was racking up hundreds of calories on.
  • Dinner–chicken, broccoli w nooch, 5 cherry tomatoes, 100g Konjak noodles (9kcal) + 1/2 packet tomato sauce (33kcal)

Other Observations:

  • I get so dreadfully thirsty when I eat Huel Granola…any idea why? (Yeah I basically chug 1.5L of water after eating it lmao)

#97

Chris - I reckon this is about the best Huel journal I’ve come across here.

I love your energy, your use of language, your honesty and your consistent writing here. Brilliant!

I’m just coming to the end of my first year on Huel, and the past seven months or so I’ve been intermittent fasting, too, on a 16:8 basis. And I love it. I did want to lose a bit of weight, and in the first five months I went from 78kg to 69kg, which is right where I want to be. Maintaining that has been amazingly easy.

(Background - I don’t have a history or ED, or weight issues, or dieting, but a mate introduced me to Huel, and the big attraction initially was convenience and complete nutrition. Managing my weight down has been a bonus).

I weigh myself every morning, naked, as soon as I wake up, and write it down in a book. I also record how much Huel I have during the day (noted down in number of scoops) and note if I IF’d or not, as I’m not too dogmatic about it.

Couple of FYI’s for you…

  1. I know it’s a bit old skool, but I weigh daily in pounds, as they are smaller and more granular than kilos, and then on the first of the month I weight in pounds and stones and kilos.

  2. I’ve learned not to worry about the small fluctuations day to day. I’ve seen me drop 2lbs after a poo! I’ve dropped a pound after a couple of hours working on a mate’s farm. There’s a lot of variables hour to hour, day to day, so try not to stress about the odd blip up - it’s usually nothing.

  3. I’ve also learned not to be too rigid about the IF. Sometimes a friend comes over and we get wired into chess, whiskey etc., and if the munchies strike late at night, as they sometimes do, I’ll just go with it, and the day gets a X in the IF column in my book. Overall, I IF 70% to 85% of the days in any given month.

Overall you seem to be really loving the journey you’re on, and that’s the main thing. Stress is not helpful, as you’ve noted yourself, and stressing about small occasional weight gains or missing an occasional IF is something you can choose not to do pretty easily.

You keep writing - I’ll keep reading!


#98

Day 38 (A Low Day)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :pensive: I don’t know what’s happening, but since it’s the first time I’ve had goal weights… I’m very happy to be hitting my first goal weight. But I feel disordered irrational thoughts creeping in. Logically, I know this is all following the same trajectory. I’m losing weight gradually (not as fast as Huel 100% but I don’t think that’s socially sustainable anyways). I’m eating what I want. I’m still doing IF. I weighed myself a bit earlier. I’m happy to have maintained the weight I lost from last week. I know weight fluctuates.

But it seems like I’m getting subconsciously quite distressed about it all. Two nights in a row I’ve had dreams of eating sweets/binging/eating non-Huel food…I’ve been kind of terrified to step on the scale and see that I’ve exponentially gained weight…I don’t know what’s happening. I thought I was doing so well being a lot more objective and calm when perceiving the scale. I thought I WASNT restricting myself from sweets “I’ll eat it if I want to, I just don’t want to”: maybe I AM subconsciously developing an irrational fear of sugar. PLS HELP :frowning:

Weight: 58.1kg

Food Intake: (at least 2107kcal)

  • 112g Huel, RhubarbFS
  • Lunch (II) – ~20g root veggie crisps, 2 smoked salmon w some pesto, cucumber & carrots, fruits
  • Binge – 50g brownie, cs 8 cake, cs 2/3 protein brownie, cs 3 bread rolls, cs 4 hot cross buns, 1.5 chocolate Rice Krispies, eat & cs 2 jelly donuts :doughnut:
  • Dinner — 2 egg whites + 2g nooch + 200g konjac rice w 1.5T sesame sauce
  • Binge – cs & eat 2 chocolate Rice Krispies, cs 50g RitterSport Nugat Chocolate, cs 2 hot cross buns

Other Observations:

  • Kinda sugar-binge: I couldn’t get my brother’s brownie (of which I dreamt of) out of my head. I knew that if I ‘resisted’, I was subjecting myself to an impending full blown sugar binge. And so I enjoyed it. And proceeded to eat other sugary things too. I now realise that my ‘not eating sugar’ after 100% Huel was not so much whether or not I wanted it, but the primary reason (that I didn’t realise) was my fear of breaking streaks (and as it follows, once broken, swinging to an opposite extreme). Hardly a sustainable way to go. It was a mistake that I now acknowledge. The rest of the day isn’t for naught: I’ll stick to IF, and probably within my calories. But going forth, I’m NOT going to restrict myself from anything, be it eating outside food or eating sugar. I now know what’s optimum nutrition, and I still want Huel to take up the bulk proportion of my meals simply because it tastes good and makes me feel the most balanced.
  • 5.23pm: I feel like absolute trash. I’ve been eating non-stop for 3.5 hours. I have a massive headache so I’ll go take a nap. Ugh this is so not worth it, but it’s a learning experience. Too much, too soon, and it’s really not worth feeling like crap. Letting myself eat sweets in moderation is still a better idea and mentally less distressing.
  • 8.23pm: I tried. I really did try. I tried to stay under 1600kcal by making dinner smaller and I succeeded! (1583kcal)…and then I proceeded to binge. It’s so difficult to (and I thought I had, but apparently not) get rid of the all-or-nothing mindset, the ‘well i’m going to gain weight anyway might as well eat everything now and start over tomorrow’.
  • I suppose this has to do with control: I was afraid that my hitting 58.0kg, which I haven’t stayed at in the last 3 years, was fluke and I’d just bounce back to where I was. So part of me wanted to regain that control…almost as though “if I gain weight, it’ll be on my own accord”. I know it makes no sense, but this is where my brain is at rn.
  • Nonetheless, I’m going to STOP. Even if all my goals aren’t met for the day, I can still meet my 8h IF goal.
  • I’m legit crying I can’t ahhh this is just bringing back the barrage of fears: that I won’t be able to cut calories without going full ED mode or bingeing. That I’m doomed to live with the distress of ED. That I simply don’t have enough willpower and am kinda useless.
  • To anyone who’s reading: I’d really appreciate some words of encouragement to get back on track…please help me think rationally & objectively again. It’s so mentally exhausting sigh :frowning:

Troubleshoot/Plans for the After-Binge:

  • Acknowledging Efforts/Being more objective:
  1. Didn’t binge til like 3000+kcal – I DID stop.
  2. Didn’t punish myself with destructive habits. Instead, took a warm shower and re-evaluated the situation.
  3. Still did Intermittent Fasting.
  4. It was maybe 200kcal over maintenance. It’s okay. What matters is making the choice to continue to be consistent since that works.
  5. I kept trying to do my best at every stage.
  6. I didn’t push myself to the absolute edge of feeling stuffed and purging.
  7. Didn’t eat cookies! :stuck_out_tongue: (My goal until 31/5, not actually missing them tbh)
  • Learn from the experience:
  1. I will include sweets in my diet. Not including them makes me binge on them.
  2. Trust the process more than the result – it is more important that I’m consistent with my actions, than to be so hung up on the number on the scale. Yes I have goal weights, but there’s no reason to be stressed about it.
  3. Acknowledge that there will be high days and low days. What matters is bouncing back from a setback instead of giving up.
  4. Knowing how to transition from an experiment is important, especially with a background of ED. I knew better than to continue 100% Huel til I broke, but I didn’t foresee a sugar-breakdown haha.
  5. I’ve learnt that I don’t want to forgo social events and eating out. It’s okay to reject it because I don’t actually want that food or want to save money, but it’s a problem if it starts causing me distress and the fear of gaining weight if I eat out.
  6. Recognising indicators of things getting problematic: like feeling guilty for eating a 400g packet of butternut squash lmao wtf. (although it’s gr8 that I’m legit craving butternut squash & salmon haha)
  • Steps to take:
  1. Prepare myself for the weight gain on the scale tomorrow. (Not going to ‘compensate’ for today.)
  2. Go back to the usual routine: 1350-1550kcal, IF 12-8pm, Water before & during meals, include sweets, eat Huel for lunch & dinner tmr. Using the cue of not wanting to go to sleep stuffed.
  3. Go out occasionally (especially since it’s going to be my birthday week in 3 days! :smiley: ), because losing weight fast < having the ability to eat outside food.

#99

Hello! I’m following this thread as well and have been reading it with interest :slight_smile: @chrisjeffy98 thank you so much for documenting your interesting journey! I am coming back to this thread every couple of days to read your updates, as I myself have started eating Huel about two weeks ago for lunch only though :stuck_out_tongue: I feel like I’m quite similar to you, I’m also tiny (5 foot 2 / 158 cm), tend to gain weight very easily and I am a graduate student so have studies / social life / drinking / stress and weird sleep patterns as well.

I also wanted to respond to some feedback/discussion regarding you taking a relaxed / chill disposition towards your weightloss journey (until here, I haven’t read the latest posts yet). I also really appreciate that you’re trying to ease yourself into weight loss without trying to feel restricted or pressured following your past eating experience, and I think you should hold onto that relaxed disposition.

Following @GTIPuG input, on the need for restriction for weight loss: For me, weight loss (or I don’t call it that either, I prefer to focus on body-fat / muscle ratio, how I look in my clothes and increases in stamina / body strength) is not about restriction at all. I love food and will never stop loving food, so as soon as I start feeling like I’m “restricting” myself, I know it will not be sustainable in the long run. I’ve lost 12 kg successfully without restricting any food (weighing 48kg / 106lbs at my lightest point), but changing daily eating habits, exercising (about 3-4 times a week of heavy exercise) and occasionally indulging. So instead of eating store-bought cookies/snacks/crisps, baking my own sweet potato egg muffins, or banana-egg pancakes or what not, and occasionally just indulging in whatever I want (for one meal though, not a whole day of that).

So @chrisjeffy98 if you’ll allow me to give you tips on what worked for me :slight_smile: : I lost the most weight while I was still going to the pub nearly every night (for drinks, not food), eating out several times a week and going out clubbing about two times a week. The things I did that helped were: making tasty food that I liked and was healthy (I was eating more paleo then but am vegetarian now so eating more carbs) if you like cookies etc, how about trying to make these things yourself? e.g. peanut butter, honey and oatmeal bars take like 5 mins to make and 3 ingredients, and are tasty and healthy (even though high in calories) Fitmencook and blogilates have great tips on healthy, tasty snacks. Also, if you go out / drink multiple times a week, just replace your alcoholic drinks with ginger beer or soda water or something. And exercise does help, but try and do strength training instead if you don’t like exercise (you don’t need to go running or do cardio to lose fat, just train with some weights. It’s easier and less aversive than having to run for an hour, you get quick results (in fat loss) and don’t worry, you will not get bulky! trust me! if you build more muscle, you will lose fat mass in your body, making you look slimmer and toned, and burn more energy doing your daily activities. this is what helped me with weight loss. although I did also do HIIT workouts and I got to like running so did a 10 km run every week lol)

Also, I can understand that this is what you like, but I wouldn’t worry about weight so much. if you’re increasing muscle mass and losing fat, you might actually gain weight / maintain. I only weighed myself once a week or once every two weeks and it causes a lot less stress about these small fluctuations.

I have gained about 4kg again, but I am currently weighing 54 kg (119 pounds) at 5"2 and I am happy with that. Currently, I am not exercising much (just cycling about 40 minutes a day to the lab) and doing yoga (although trying to increase this) and just eating Huel for lunch and not restricting myself much otherwise, going out for drinks as well (but I don’t like eating cookies /sweets much, but I do love ice cream now and then).

Anyways, good luck with it! :smiley:


#100

@Lighteater Robert – Wow, your post really made my day; it’s such high praise and makes me want to keep writing :smiley:

Thanks for your comments and advice, awesome to hear that Huel has been such a positive addition for you too. It’s great to have you following my little Huel journal-blog, read on! :smiley:

@Clarius Whoa where did you lurkers suddenly come from :stuck_out_tongue: Am very happy to read your in-depth response, I kinda always assumed I was writing to a blank-wall audience xD
Thank you for your tips, it helps reading about your experience too so I can see potential areas I can tweak my actions if I run into a dead-end.
And thanks for following me on my journey! :slight_smile:


#101

Honestly, I think I’ve said it before in this thread but with as little intentional offence as possible - I’d recommend therapy for getting over that final hurdle… Something isn’t right up there and is setting you off, it’d do wonders to get it sorted properly rather than battling your own mind.

Edit: Not sure who said it above but I honestly think engaging with weights/fitness would do wonders. It helps to see food as fuel for your gains rather than just something to eat and pass time. It helped me escape obesity and it’s also helped a girl at work escape an ED. She’s gone from eating 1200 cals a day and being paranoid to eating 2400 a day and gaining a booty and abs. It’s not hard to get into, /r/Fitness on Reddit has a cracking Wiki.


#102

Day 39

Weight: 57.8-58.0kg sugar is not the devil! CICO. And yeah I know the weight may take a while to show but it’s ok.

Food Intake: (1503kcal)

  • 100g NewHuel, 500ml almond milk, 2g ChocFS this was so gooooood! but a lil too thick for my liking
  • Snacks—12 butterfinger minis, 100g skyr + 2T almond milk + 15g Huel granola, 3 slices ham, 2 egg whites 1 egg yolk nooch
  • 112g Huel, 3g MatchaFS I used to think I could barely taste the matcha, but now it tastes pretty strong and sweet

Exercise: Cycling & 1h Hip Hop

Other Observations:

  • I don’t get as drop-dead tired as I did on 100% Huel (like muscle-drained, brain-fogged kind of exhausted)
  • Birthday Present!: For my birthday (yes I’m going to be dropping this word a lot for the next week :stuck_out_tongue: I can’t help it! It’s exam week too and the mood is just grim, so I gotta hype myself up) AND as a goal-weight reward, I’m getting a Fitbit! I’ve been eyeing it for 2 years now, and could never justify the price. But birthdays and goal weights are sufficient reasons no? :stuck_out_tongue: I’m getting it to realise how many steps I’m NOT taking lmao and to just, for a start, incentivise me to move more (sort of an instant gratification mechanism).
  • 10.36pm: I’m peckishhhhhhh lol I just want to eat so I don’t do work lmao. NO.
  • 1+am: Was so hungry my stomach was growling :’( I coulda sworn I’d had 1500kcal?? Ah well better than feeling too full xD Looking forward to my Huel tomorrow!

@GTIPuG Hahaha don’t worry I take your comments with a pinch of salt so no offence taken; post away! :stuck_out_tongue: Yeah, I HAVE gone for and am in therapy, since 2016. Trust me that post up was there was the tip of the ice berg, it’s way better than what it used to be (imagine that, but every single day with more extremity and self destruction. Yep, that’s ED for you!). Unfortunately, it’s kind of rare to ever be completely cured, and therapy isn’t magic. It just gives you tools you gotta apply to combat the ED and not let it take control of you, aka yea it’s still a mind battle :confused: Oh well. Such is life. I keep trying.
Re: Fitness I’ll look into that more during my Summer holidays! I’m probably going to get into Krav Maga/MMA and condiitioning :slight_smile:


#103

Oi cheer up you! Look at it this way - If I put in 1KG of steak, the most I can physically gain is 1KG of weight the next day. If you’ve eaten say 200g of sugar and it hasn’t shown on the scale, don’t expect it to. Gaining weight takes as much consistency as losing it, it’s just much more easy to indulge in being consistent with eating too much. :smiley: Easier said than done, I know, but chillllllll :smiley:

Ahhh fantastic, if you get into it enough it can often become an addiction and lifestyle (in a good way!).


#104

Tomato and nooch!!


#105

Day 40

Weight: 57.2-57.4kg any reason why it could’ve dropped so quickly? I don’t think it’s real LOL it’s probably gonna go back to 58 which I’m fine with!! Since that’s my goal by the end of May. (@GTIPuG any ideas haha you’re good at the math xD)

Food Intake: (1583kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS
  • 150g smoked salmon
  • 60g scrambled eggs w ketchup
  • ~1/2 tub Halo Top ice cream
  • 103g smoked salmon
  • 183g scrambled eggs w ketchup

Exercise: cycle ~6km to Tesco :stuck_out_tongue:

Other Observations:

  • It seems like body CAN actually lose weight at 1500+kcal! Well that’s great. (Hahaha yeah I guess I don’t break physics, but part of me always worries either that I do, or that I’m overestimating my activity). ONE STEP AT A TIME. This slow and steady method probably won’t “run out” so quick.
  1. Eat 1350-1550kcal. Keep tracking weight until plateau for like 2 weeks.
  2. Re-calculate macros.
  3. Reverse diet.
  • 1.13pm: Lol OOOOOOOPS I’ve literally eaten 860kcal in 1/2h. Was q hungry ahaha. Am now a little over full and sleepy, but well.
  • Today has been a rather odd day eating-wise. Mostly protein (131g) aside from Huel; no veggies; calories on the higher end; finishing at 6.30pm since I have no more calories left; macro split of 22-33-45 LOL what even.
  • BUT it has been a very joyful day, and I just blew my cash on a shopping spree at the Tesco Superstore for the first time! What a way to celebrate my birthday I swear I get more excited at grocery stores than clothes shops :stuck_out_tongue:
  • I finally got smoked salmon AND halo top, which I’ve been craving for as long as I can remember. If the scale increases tomorrow imma just blame it on the sodium from the 250g of smoked salmon I consumed today :joy:
  • I’ve lowkey been checkin’ my reflection out every time I accidentally pass a reflectively surface—can it be that I actually look slimmer?? Or is it purely placebo?
  • I can now do 2 pull-ups! Kinda. Can’t wait to get lighter and do even more pull-ups hehe
  • 3am: hungry :frowning: was hungry since 12 haha but it’s kinda cool, now I don’t think I’m hungry therefore I HAVE TO EAT NOW.

#106

No ideas I’m afraid, but I’ve experienced the same phenomenon every few weeks! One big sudden drop.

Nothing to panic about, it can be a particularly big ‘movement’ (basically an emptier than normal digestive tract and bladder) or even just slight dehydration on a warm day.

If we take your last lower limit of 57.8 and today’s upper limit of 57.4, it’s only 400g. Most people have had burgers that weigh 400g, so definitely nothing to stress at or query too much.

Congrats on the loss nonetheless, you’re nailing it :muscle:t2:


#107

Day 41

Weight: 57.9kg yep as I’d expected it went back up, I think the 57.3 was fluke. Oh well I’m still maintaining around 58 which is my goal, so I just need to maintain this for the next week and not blow it during my birthday! :stuck_out_tongue:

Food Intake: (1594kcal)

  • 1/2 of (100g CoffeeHuel w 80ml melted halo top, 2g ChocFS)
  • 2 egg whites + 2 ham
  • 89g cinnamon apple cake
  • 1/8th carrot cake
  • 4 picked @ muffins
  • 60g NewHuel, MatchaFS
  • 4 ham
  • 3/4 45g Eiweissreigel Haselnuss
  • 150g King Prawns 93kcal and 21.2g protein!!! How I wish this were cheaper and didn’t straight up cost me 3 quid :’(

Other Observations:

  • I was so hungry I downed half of my Huel in 3 minutes…
  • Confession: I purged a bit. (2,1,3,4) I don’t quite know why, but I shoveled down 1000+kcal in 50min and I haven’t felt this uncomfortably full and guilty in a while. I also really didn’t want to gain weight. I need to get back to my regular routine.
  • I’ve been p peckish and bc I blew most of my calories in the morning, I’m gonna be pretty hungry later… I hope the cycle doesn’t continue and I’m ravenous tomorrow when I break my fast.
  • It’s good to get out of my room: it ain’t socially acceptable to binge in the middle of Waterstones! :stuck_out_tongue:
  • So the day didn’t start off optimally, but what’s important is that I kept trying. Sure my calories are a bit higher than I’d like, but I still managed to keep it under 1600kcal.
  • 12.22am: Relatively hungry but manageable.
  • I bought Huel bars for my birthday!!! :smiley: I’m so excited to try it out haha.

#108

It’s so hard to resist the purge/binge some days isn’t it.

Even with the feeling you’re left with afterwards, you always think “why, why did I do this” and think that you’ll remember the feeling next time you think of doing it again, but it doesn’t work does it.

Do you know why you’ve kicked yourself out of your normal routine…?

Also, don’t worry too much about your birthday next week. Have you got non-food related things to focus on doing to celebrate with??

Not exactly that same as you, but similar, when I was on drugs all the time, I physically couldn’t eat. So every time there was a family gathering, I always made excuses for not going as I was expected to eat. I hated even the thought of being near food and I ostracised myself pretty much from anyone and everyone when it came to events that contained food.
I tried to find ways of being with my family and friends that didn’t involve food, so I could escape the questions of why aren’t you eating…?

So have you got anything awesome planned that you’d be comfortable doing without feeling like you may over eat and feel the need to purge afterwards??


#109

@Luffers I can’t tell you how glad I am to have a supportive, understanding and non-judgmental person like you with me on our journey.

I suppose there are several reasons:

  1. The whole no-sugar thing. Very reminiscent to when I first started binge-purging on junk food, which was right after I came off a year of abstaining from sugar. I suppose I’m still transitioning from the week of 100% Huel and my misguided no-sugar, but thankfully it’s to a less disastrous level than before.
  2. My mental energy is devoted to my exams (which are in 10 days!!!) so I have little energy left to do the whole mind game of resisting urges.
  3. My birthday! HAHA. I like cake. LOL.

Unfortunately, as it’s exam season, it appears that food is the most non-fussed and time-efficient way to celebrate…and also a way it seems I’m pampering myself amidst the exam stress :confused: Non-food ways to celebrate are definitely things I would love to do though!

Sigh I just hope this doesn’t happen, the uncertainty of food choices still gets to me sometimes. (Especially since different friends may be bringing me out for meals or surprising me with food…lowkey just want to Huel for stability LOL)

Also, I don’t want to spam your thread (too much), but I’d like to say good job, it seems like you’re being very level-headed about your journey, taking constructive criticism and making good progress. :slight_smile:


#110

You’re most welcome, you will never find me being judgemental over any topic. I’ve learned the hard way that everybody is their own soul and can do whatever, whenever they wish and who am I to say otherwise… I’m glad I can be here for you on your journey and I will help in any way I can.

I can understand your 1st reason, sugar is a harder drug to give up than cocaine, and I’ve had rehab for cocaine addiction. They should offer a sugar addiction rehab! :see_no_evil::joy: I’m glad you didn’t fall too deeply into a bad remission of taking sugary snacks too far. It’s great that you can instantly realise what you’re doing and take somewhat steps to undo the damage.
With regards to your exams, I cannot even begin to imagine how stressful this time must be for you, but I do know the mental energy it takes to stay on track, especially when you’re depleted of all forms of energy. Try and stay strong and focused. Also GOOD LUCK :tada::kissing_heart::tada:
Lastly, birthday cake is the BEST! My eldest son turned 17 yesterday and he DID NOT want a cake… I was like :sob::sob::sob: but kind of thankful that I didn’t have to resist eating a slice. I’m awful at baking bakes, but I 100% nail it when it comes to red velvet cakes, I’m the BOMB at making that one!! :birthday:
Are you going to bake a cake, get given one or will you buy? I ask because if the latter, why not buy just a slice and then you’ll not have to worry about the other slices?? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

It is such a shame that this does seem to be the default way to celebrate anything? Do you have anywhere locally that is easy on the calories? Or something you could maybe forgo your usual shakes of Huel for in the day and JUST have a meal out that day? So you stay within calorie target?

If I lived close by, I would definitely meet up with you to celebrate either with a Huel shake or a day out doing something fun without food being an issue.
May I ask, do your friends know about your previous eating disorder and your struggle with binge/purging? I only ask, as I wonder if they’re aware of the issues you have, with socialising with food as the main focus?

If I was your friend, I would so gift you with more Huel!!!
I couldn’t think of a better gift tbf :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::heart_eyes::joy:

Also, spam away on my thread, I enjoy reading your responses!
I hope I am being level headed enough… and I stay focused and keep bringing myself closer towards a better daily target and keep to it.

But I’m also a realist and I know full well that days good and bad are ahead of me, I won’t guilt myself on the bad days and I will definitely reward myself with every good day I complete. :raised_hands:t2:

Good luck with your exams again, study hard, :crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2: but don’t forget to look after yourself completely :facepunch:t2:

I’m always here for a chat…


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Ooh! I bake too :slight_smile: (or at least I used to, my dorm doesn’t have a kitchen now – probably better for my waistline :stuck_out_tongue: ) You mention you bake bread at your job? Do you bake other pastries too? Happy birthday to your son btw! :slight_smile:

HAHAHA omg you get me!! I would totally take you up on this :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Huel & flavour boosts would be the best birthday present ever. I’m actually buying Huel bars for myself to celebrate my birthday I can’t tell if that’s sad or

Nah most of them don’t know, and I’m keen to keep it that way – I’d rather people not start noticing my eating habits because that’d make me more stressed out haha. It’s also not as salient as before thankfully :slight_smile: (I used to legitimately panic and breakdown and/or cry whilst in the middle of meals it was actually miserable.)

All the best to you too and thank youuuuu <3