📓 Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss


#184

Day 74 (No Huel sans granola)

Weight: 56.8kg

Food Intake: (1279kcal, 1585kcal burnt)

  • Lunch—7 slices sashimi, 1 tamago egg, cucumber, 2t Wasabi & soy sauce
  • 1 Americano
  • 1 lozenge
  • 1 honey lemon water
  • 5 slices wafer thin chicken
  • Dinner—a bit of bread w olive oil & meat, 115g ribeye steak :cut_of_meat:, 6 asparagus, 4 cherry tomatoes, 15 raspberries
  • remaining Skyr w ~8g Huel granola this tasted so good!!!
  • 3 bites chocolate lava cake w some ice cream

Other Observations:

  • (TMI) I’ve observed that whenever I change my routine, location-wise or time-wise, my regular bowel movements at around 10.30am just don’t happen. Haven’t had a BM in 2 days :’(
  • I’m down with a flu and it’s just miserable I feel so weak and sick :frowning: Probably won’t be getting much exercise in but I’ll try to go for a walk. I don’t really have much of an appetite either.
  • I really don’t feel like eating ugh and I CANT TASTE ANYTHING AT ALL which is sad because my Brother cooks the most amazing food!! Ah well I guess it’ll help me get my deficit in check. Lol for the first time losing weight isn’t my utmost priority, it actually bothers me that I’ll have to eat food that I can’t enjoy :< But I mean I’m probably going to be quite sedentary so it all works out. It annoys me that I’m not keeping my routine sighhhhh
  • 3.06pm: I’ve had 209kcal and I don’t know how I’m going to eat all my cals because eating is just such a chore when you can’t enjoy it :confused: Haha it’s crazy how this wouldn’t have been a problem for me last time, I’d have jumped at the opportunity to not eat.
  • YAAAY so my sense of smell and taste came back at half strength around dinner time, so I was able to enjoy ribeye steak! Idk I guess part of me wanted to not be able to enjoy food so I’d naturally undereat without feeling like I’m missing out, but I’d also much rather not feel like shit and feel the excitement of going outdoors and walking around and exploring. ED is feeling a bit confused but well I just hope I don’t gain, I probably ate like 900kcal at dinner haha.
  • Being so sedentary is actually p shit, I only burned perhaps 1500kcal mostly lying in bed or sleeping or sitting haha.
  • BUT hey I could look at it like my illness has helped me to still remain in a deficit at my bro’s house and not overeat til I felt sick :slight_smile: 1 day down, 1 more to go then a week of Germany where I plan to be very active having fun and exploring with friends!!!

@Wendy_Shepherd Thanks! Yeah it’s never easy, but I guess for the first time, I’ve accepted that it’ll probably take a year or more to do, and have become more alright with “good enough” than having to be “perfect” :smiley: You’re right on about willpower and patience! And don’t say that – if I’m starting to manage that, anyone can :slight_smile: Don’t give up!


#185

Day 75 (No Huel)

Weight: 56.1kg ooooo see consistency can always reverse that upward trend; I just need to get back on track and believe in myself. Besides, I don’t break physics!

Food Intake: (~2233kcal)

  • Avocado Toast—1/3rd avocado w fried garlic & shallots, 2 slices bacon, 3 cherry tomatoes
  • 12 raspberries
  • 1 packet pop chips
  • 1 packet seaweed
  • 1 packet M&S chicken
  • demolish 4 Asian buns
  • hotpot—1 tofu, 6-7 meatballs, 2 wanton, enoki, oyster mushroom, veggies, A bit of japchae noodles, 3 slices beef

“Exercise”: Exploring basically all of London (jk)! But no really though I’ve been walking around and enjoying most of London’s nooks and crannies for the last 7h (23000 steps)

Other Observations:

  • Chinatown + having walked for ages = caving to EAT ALL THE BUNZ (Asian bakery buns have always been my weakness I kid you not, in all 3 countries I’ve lived in. So naturally I kinda crave it so when I saw it in the bakery I honestly couldn’t resist… And I definitely enjoyed every bite.
  • Hotpot. Felt too full, was challenging, but I have NOT OVEREATEN. I honestly have walked a shit ton hahaha.
  • This is also slightly trying situation: it’s 11.40pm and I’m going to be travelling through the night. With little sleep…and I tend to snack when I get peckish and sleepy and bored so :confused: good to be aware. My plan is not eating til Huel @ 12 (because i still do plan to weigh myself at around 10ish), but I won’t beat myself up if I do. I’ll still keep to ~1500kcal today.
  • I also have to get used to the food routine at my Wilderness Reunion, so I’ll give myself a bit of slack for the first coupla days. Try not to bounce back above 57kg. And try to move as much as I can regardless. Who knows, I may be able to have an incredibly active week and even lose some!

#186

This seems to be another issue with you! There is NO upward trend! The trend is downwards and has been downwards since you started! :smiley: starting 60+ and ending up 56? No sign of an upward trend anywhere to me. :slight_smile:


#187

Day 76 (No Huel)

Weight: 57kg @gtipug this is what I mean by upward trend :’( but thank u tho!!

Food Intake: (1954kcal)

  • 1 AMAZING HOKKAIDO MILK LOAF
  • 1 packet pork scratchings
  • rice & veggie curry & kinda mushroom egg fried rice
  • 1 apple juice popsicle
  • 150g cottage cheese
  • 2 nectarines
  • 1/2 packet French fries
  • 1 bite strawberry skyr
  • 15 Nougat Bits cereal
  • 5 sesame crackers
  • 1 dark chocolate kit kat
  • 1 Nutella b-ready
  • 1 chocolate Rice Krispies

Other Observations:

  • It’s been so difficult. I’ve basically been awake for the entire night. There have been so many changes and I’m honestly just trying my best to do my best at every stage…but that’s won’t be good enough without foreplanning the rest of the week now that I’ve “felt the ground”. Ok so I’ll first list the things that were challenging, then assess things I did well, then my goals for the rest of the week.
  • I also kind of went on quite the bread binge last night at around 2am…but ngl the bread was amazing so regrets but not so much.
  • At around 7pm I couldn’t take it and started binging on a whole bunch of chocolate because it felt like I didn’t really have a plan I could stick to. And so I binged, then felt guilty and tried to purge but I think they could hear me so I had to stop and slept instead.
  • I was trying to pay attention the thoughts I’d had when I was in that binge mode—“I’m way too tired to be able to stop myself” “might as well get through my snack stash since today’s a p shit and uncontrolled day…before I start to be in control again” “you can always stop at any point in time” “eat below calories burnt still as far as possible!” “what’s an extra 100-200kcal when I’ve already overeaten? It’s gonna show on the scale anyway” yeah, a lot of irrationality, I know, but at least I’m starting to be aware of it :slight_smile:
  • 2.19am: I feel so unsettled UGH 3 days without Huel is 3 days too many!!! Let’s face it, I feel my best and the most in control when I’ve had my dose of yummy chocolate Huel. I’ll DEFINITELY have it tomorrow!
  • Challenges
  1. Staying up travelling
  2. Unknown plans—type of food, type of house, type of activities, schedule
  3. Exciting supermarkets (Germany!)
  4. Disrupted routine
  5. Social situation
  6. Having cooked food for everyone
  7. Eating lunch together
  8. Eating at an odd time (lunch at 4pm)
  9. Changing time zones which always seems to mess me up even though it’s just an hour.
  10. Having severe lack of sleep
  11. Perhaps having a bit of munchies???
  12. Everyone munching quite a bit, feels like missing out if I don’t too (since the norm is munching…and I like food lel)
  13. Eating with my high school friends…a time when my binge purge started. I have very distinct memories of these people in the backdrop of my ED stricken days that keep surfacing as I eat and interact with them. As does the fear that people would “realise my eating is disordered”.
  14. One of my lowkey goals was that my high schools friends would notice my weight loss but I suppose 2-3kg (to them) wouldn’t be so significant ah well.
  15. I’m still sick.
  • Did Well
  1. I really did try at many steps of the way.
  2. I tried not to eat the bread…failed…then at 3.30am I decided just because I ate doesn’t mean I have to keep eating and feel more shit. So I made up my mind to only eat after 12
  3. I brought Huel with me so I could take it whenever…which I didn’t end up doing because social dynamics, but still.
  4. I went food shopping for the rest so I could put in my input of what things to get—vegetables, chicken breast slices, cottage cheese, skyr, hard boiled eggs etc.
  5. I tried to get some steps in, although it wasn’t much and I’m exhausted.
  6. I kept trying to eat sufficient protein.
  7. Drinking water.
  8. I kept track of everything I ate.
  9. Although there was an hour or two where I was quite out of control and eating a whole bunch of chocolate, I made the decision to stop. I could’ve spiraled to a huge calorie deficit, but I decided to stop. And that’s what matters.
  10. I’m doing this psychological debrief to set myself up for success in the future.
  11. I still had an eating window of 8h today.
  12. When my friends were eating later that night (so much cereal!), I decided not to because I’m not even hungry and I’ve had more than enough to eat.
  13. Still doing my pushups.
  • Plan: So my original idea of eat less move more still stands, but now I can make it a little more concrete. I didn’t really feel compelled to move much today but that’ll change when I have more rest.
  1. Get 10 000 steps in & look for ways to move (chopping wood, working out with friends here, going on walks and exploring, going cycling etc.)
  2. Intermittent Fasting, 12-8pm. The 8pm may be a bit hard with alcohol but I’ll largely try to stick to it. If they ask, I’ll straight up say I’m doing intermittent fasting (or not hungry in the morning). I’ll drink black coffee in the morning with all of them. Resisting Nutella crepes may be a challenge though.
  3. Water: At least half my bottle before a meal, and a glass during the meal!
  4. Huel for lunch! Screw it it’s my life, my friends may look at me weird but I have nothing to hide plus I absolutely love the taste of Huel. I’ll eat it for the meals that they are eating things I don’t like like potato :potato: I’ll just explain that’s it’s “a cheap meal replacement smoothie that has perfect macros and is basically like protein oats with fibre”. I’m friends enough with them that it’s may be a bit odd but wouldn’t do anything to destroy the social dynamic. I’ll also explain that I’m trying to eat Huel for lunch as much as I can; it “reduces my cravings for sugar” which I am way too addicted to and I wanna eat “more healthy”.
  5. Try to keep it around 1500kcal, or at least try to eat under what I burn.
  6. Busy myself with non-food activities!: chatting, piano, helping chop wood, exploring, cooking, journaling, planning, reading, helping to clean up etc.
  • Challenges I foresee
  1. Explaining Huel & being shameless about it
  2. Feeling the FOMO when everyone else keeps eating — I need to remember that I’m on a different journey and goal! The way they’re eating, they’re probably fine with a holiday week weight gain, but I’d much rather not, so I shouldn’t eat along with them mindlessly :slight_smile: I can still enjoy the same things in smaller portions of course!
  3. Alcohol calories but I ain’t gonna miss out on this fun haha
  4. Feeling overly full although it’s a good reminder that I don’t want to feel this way
  5. Going swimming in the lake… I’m still not the most comfortable with displaying my body ahh
  6. Feeling sad around my friends and feeling left out
  7. Seeing weight gain on the scale. And trying my best to not swing the other way and give up. (If I do, please kick my ass in the frankest way possible!!!)

#188

Day 77

Weight: 57.0kg

Food Intake: (1233kcal but I could’ve miscounted)

  • Lunch—some scrambled eggs w cheese & butter, 2 egg whites w 1T ajvar, light cottage cheese w 1t beet hummus, 2 nougat bits
  • 1/2 ChocFS Huel
  • 1/2 pretzel
  • 1 diamond Irish Cream chocolate
  • 50g cottage cheese w 1t ajvar
  • 3 chicken slices
  • 1 egg white
  • 1 donut peach
  • 1 small slice honeydew
  • 1/2 Edeka chocolate cream cookie
  • Dinner—1/2 ChocFS Huel

Exercise: (10923 steps)

  • Some rowing and swimming
  • Some Badminton
  • Ultimate frisbee!

Other Observations:

  • Several wins today!!! My friends went swimming in the lake and I almost said no, but I decided to just go in my sports bra and shorts which is the first time I’ve worn anything CLOSE to a bikini with my friends!!!
  • AND my Friend took a picture of me in it with my kimono and I actually think I look really good?!?!
  • Huel!!! BAEEEEEEE it made it so easy because they literally had dinner at 10.45pm and because I’d had Huel around 8+ I didn’t feel the need to eat dinner (it was pasta anyways)
  • I IF’d! Almost wanted to eat more but realised I didn’t want to eat enough to break my fast lol so it was boredom eating
  • Frozen Huel: GAIZ FROZEN HUEL. Since summer is coming up, I thought I’d give you a little tip: FREEZE HUEL into little popsicles! It tastes so good and ice cold ahhhh! Omg or maybe even freeze Huel into ice cube trays to put into your Huel :wink: I may or may not be going a little wild here hahaha
  • I’m very confused at seeming to have only eaten around 1300kcal??? I’ve been q active the whole day and definitely never deprived myself (I ate some cookies when my friends did, ate chocolate when I felt like it etc.)
  • I feel so good mentally and physically having eaten Huel :’)

#189

Explaining Huel & being shameless about it

I was going to comment on exactly this. It seems like you’re a bit uncomfortable letting other people know what you’re eating or eating differently from them. I think if you’re serious about losing some weight you may have to get over this issue. You are with friends and it sure they won’t judge you for this. I had mixed reactions from people I know, friends, family, co-workers etc. But Huel is something I’m committed to and I’m certainly not going to let other people’s preferences affect my own. My advice would be still have huel as 2 of your main meals, that way you still have some allowance for eating other things, but you shouldn’t feel the need to binge. I would also consider keeping a shaker of Huel made up and ready at all times so that when you get hungry and feel the need to eat, there is a healthy option available that isn’t going to undermine all the hard work you’ve done so far. Also try to keep in mind that travelling and being with friends is about so much more than food. I hope I’m not sounding like I’m lecturing or anything, I’m no expert on ED or anything else, these are just thoughts that struck me while reading and maybe they will help you. As I said before its that balance of willpowere, motivation and patience.


#190

Day 78

Weight: 56.6kg i got dissssss

Food Intake: (1532kcal)

  • 112g Huel, 3g MatchaFS (drink, 2 1/2 popsicles, eat, 1 popsicle)
  • Lunch (II)—3 chicken slices, whole bunch of roasted veggies w olive oil, 50g cottage cheese, 2t ajvar, 1/3rd crepe w 2t Nutella
  • Snacks—2 egg white w 2t ajvar 2t hummus, 3 nougat bits, 8 butterfingers
  • Dinner—roasted broccoli, marinated tofu

Exercise: Rowing, swimming, rowing, little bit of wood work, rowing (2255kcal)

Other Observations:

  • Friends here seem to care less about my food! I literally just sat through breakfast without eating and didn’t even have to say “I’m not hungry yet” “I’m waiting for coffee” because no one asked anything LOL
  • I look back and see how far I’ve come: we had such nice food at the breakfast table (scrambled eggs, Nutella and warm bread rolls, veggie stir fry, etc.) but I didn’t feel the need to eat it yet because I know I can always eat it later if I REALLY want to. I really didn’t feel deprived even when everyone was eating chocolate around me, I literally can just eat it later xD
  • Also, I think I’ve figured out how to work this week here. It’s easy—encouraged even—to be active here. And even when I eat with everyone else, there are always things I can eat to stay on plan: hard boiled egg whites, cottage cheese, chicken slices, veggies, Huel, small portions of unavoidable things, not finishing it, etc. I don’t HAVE to eat massive amounts of chocolate, I can always eat a little bit. I also don’t HAVE to drink, but I will on some of the nights.
  • I feel a bit constipated fml
  • So many recovery wins! I’ve been alright with friends cooking my food with unknown ingredients. I’m more careful about my indulgences but definitely do not deprive.
  • Losing Weight Reasons: So I made a list of all the reasons why I wanted to lose weight…and 3 months in, its (very) slowly coming true!!! These are the superficial ones HAHAHA I know but still. It’s great to see that my hard work is starting to pay off!
  1. Being able and excited to take photos
  2. Looking p cute in candid photos
  3. Wearing a sports bra and looking not bad
  4. AND TODAY, FINALLY, my Friend whom I hadn’t seen since high school school exactly a year and a month ago said “have you lost weight since high school?” AHHHHHHhHhhHHHHHHhhhH!!! Happy dance!!!

#191

@Wendy_Shepherd

Yeah that’s true! I suppose because I’ve had an ED (wherein I’ve literally made excuses for eating differently for like the last 7 years), it messes me up trying to recover yet still eat differently, if that makes sense. Especially since a big tenet of recovery is “eating normally”. So I guess I’m just hypersensitive to it, although I need to believe in myself more, to trust that what I’m doing doesn’t come from a place of self harm.

It’s assuring to see that because non-ED people like you can do this as part of “normal eating”, that I’m not veering off recovery! (I know this sentence doesn’t really make sense I don’t really know how to phrase it haha)
And true, I agree!

Good idea, I’ll probably do it for 1 :slight_smile:
Very good advice all around, and no I don’t see it a a lecture haha. Thanks for all the support! Much appreciated, especially since people irl don’t really understand Huel HAHA


#192

@chrisjeffy98
I look back and see how far I’ve come: we had such nice food at the breakfast table (scrambled eggs, Nutella and warm bread rolls, veggie stir fry, etc.) but I didn’t feel the need to eat it yet because I know I can always eat it later if I REALLY want to. I really didn’t feel deprived even when everyone was eating chocolate around me, I literally can just eat it later xD

I get this 100%. The way I dealt with it (and this is not from an ED perspective, but more from a ‘trying to eat healthier/better’ perspective, so YMMV) is to tell myself ‘Really, I can have nice eggs, Nutella with warm bread, a nice stir fry anytime I want, but at the moment it’s not compatible with my goals’.

That helped me to put it in perspective - most nice food in front of me is not a now or never thing. On the rare occasions when it is, like in a famous restaurant that has a unique dish, then enjoy it and count the ‘extra’ calories as an ‘experience’.


#193

Woah woah woah you guys why are we lumping scrambled eggs in the same “bad for you” class as Nutella? :frowning:


#194

Ha, good point! Although in the restaurant I go to (and was thinking about when I typed this), the eggs are covered in golden syrup…

…and they’re delicious.


#195

that may be so… but I still feel like they need to take a long, hard look at themselves for creating such a monster :stuck_out_tongue:


#196

@David_J I agree with your attitude! It’s a much healthier one to have wrt food :slight_smile: Also, those eggs sound WILD!

@GTIPuG HAHA well for me, I was just listing foods I found yummy on the table, not food that’s “bad for me” because I don’t think classifying foods into good or bad is very productive. Oh and also eggs can often be drowned in butter, cream and cheese which mightn’t be ‘bad’ but can blow right through my calorie budget.
But in terms of IF, I’m speaking of the willpower to not break the fast during fasting periods just because it’s yummy, because I can always wait to eat it in like an hour or two.


#197

Day 79

Weight: 56.2-4kg

Food Intake: (~2070kcal)

  • 112g Huel, 3g BananaFS & 2T muesli
  • 3 egg whites w 1.5 yolk, 50g frischkase w 1t ajvar
  • (etc.)

Other Observations:

  • 12.53am: Soooooooooo…not the best day. Ngl it’s been VERY challenging and I almost considered purging.
  • Challenges:
  1. Fitbit died, which isn’t on its own difficult but it’s something I got to readjust to
  2. Friend made me seriously doubt whether my trying to lose weight is coming from a healthy place. Another Friend (probably after hearing us talk) told another close Friend to watch out for me and my diet and stuff and people scrutinising my diet is a HUGE TRIGGER for me. I felt like I had to eat a bunch of shit to prove that I was normal. :frowning: turns out they DO notice sigh.
  3. Munchy…but at least now I know what that’s like and how to avoid it.
  4. Meal timings were so skewed for the group so I ate my allocated 1500kcal between 12 and 8, but then there was dinner at like 10.30pm which was really yummy so I ate another 500kcal dinner SIGH. Ah well I know it’s going to show on the scale but I’m trying. Draw a line and move on. I’m doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t take well to being unable to plan for what the meals are.
  5. Was out on the lake for like 2h so I guess I felt a little entitled to eat more oops.
  • BUT on the body image front…I went skinny dipping with my friends for the first time!!! That took a lot of courage heh.
  • I realised that just by the people whom I interact with, my staple eating changes: these are my friends from Germany, and when I was there, I ate a shit ton of hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese and ajvar.

#198

Why not talk to your friends a bit more about what’s happening with you and food at the moment. Tell them that it’s triggering for you to have your eating scrutinised by people. If they can see you having a calm and sensible discussion about it without getting emotional or defensive it will put their minds at rest I’m sure. Maybe they’re concerned because they don’t think you need to lose weight. It looks like you are within the healthy range on BMI, so you might need to tell them exactly what your goal is and why. The most important thing is not to purge. That will be a huge trigger for them!


#199

Day 80

Weight: 56.3kg not as bad as I’d anticipated

Food Intake:

  • 112g Huel, 3g MatchaFS
  • Aubergine tomato sauce & 8 pasta
  • 4 waffelnmischung
  • 2 glasses red wine

Exercise: little rowing, 2h leisure cycling

Other Observations:

  • The BMs are back!
  • Looking back at my weight trend on MFP, I’m noticing that I’m averaging about 1.5kg of weight loss per month, which is probably quite a healthy rate :slight_smile: I’m satisfied with that haha (especially since it makes room for /life/)
  • HOLY SHIT! So I can’t really see a difference in the mirror that much, but now I understand why people say to take progress pictures. I used to take random ones (it just became a progression of me getting fatter LOL) but was like “well it varies so much if you’re bloated or have just eaten or push out your stomach how can you tell the difference?”, but I put them side by side, and I think I really do see a difference in the 5kg I’ve lost! Maybe someday I’ll feel brave enough to share it with you guys :wink:

@Wendy_Shepherd I would, but unfortunately it’s a group that I’m close to to different degrees…my Best Friend here knows about it, but no one else does and some are acquaintances, so it’s not a topic I’d really like to share with everyone since that’s so mentally taxing :confused: but it’s ok, just a day and a half more here!


#200

Day 81

Weight: 56.2kg

Food Intake: (1815kcal)

  • 112g Huel, 3g ChocFS It’s actually a brilliant idea to pre-portion my Huel before a trip; just tip the bag into the shaker and bam! Healthy meal ready!
  • 1/4 cup muesli
  • some scrambled eggs, ~1 egg w butter
  • 1 Banana Huel popsicle I think I’m gonna continue making these at home!
  • 200g chicken slices with way too much salt omg 5g hello water retention
  • peel & eat 12 brioche, 140g the texture wasn’t even good ugh but I think I have a coupla issues with “finishing food” “getting rid of” and eating while traveling out of boredom and comfort
  • 2 Nutella B-Ready
  • 5 mini Reese’s
  • 5/8th Huel Bar

Other Observations:

  • Phewww so the week has gone by without much hiccups: the first day was hard, as was the munchy day, but I think I recovered my wits pretty quick. Did a bunch of activity whenever I felt like it, and basically ate whatever I felt like too (within limits, and with whatever knowledge I have about nutrition), and never felt deprived. Had to deal with many challenges like my fitbit dying, but hey I haven’t been too distressed; It’s been great!
  • I haven’t eaten an entire 112g meal of Huel at one go for so long…that was basically 2.5 metal bowls’ worth. IM SO FULL RN but I know I haven’t overeaten; I’m probably at around 700kcal now with no desire to eat anything else.
  • I overate a bit, but I won’t be too hard on myself because I KNOW that it takes quite a bit of effort out of me to handle breaks from routine. Travelling is especially difficult. My main hope was not to gain beyond 57kg during the week, and I’ve managed to lose some. The list of challenging events I’ve had lined up is nearly at its end (Exam prep; Exams; Post-exam parties; Working overnight; Balls & Garden Parties; Sad-eating because best friend left; going to my brother’s place & his good food; travelling; Germany for a week; going back to London; travelling back home and time zones; readjusting to the food routine at home & dealing with jet lag; going to Hong Kong & China; readjusting back home
  • Ok maybe the list isn’t quite at its end yet :stuck_out_tongue: but the most intense of it is over. Next up: food in London, and travelling on the long-haul flight home. I’ll just do what I’ve done throughout my journey: set up, in my cold Planner state, the list of feasible core and periphery goals, and then do my best at every stage of the way.

#201

Friendly reminder of this! 23d ago, when 57kg was a huge milestone. Now 56kg is the norm.

You’ve come so far :smiley:


#202

Day 82

Weight: 56.4kg

Food Intake: (2773kcal)

Exercise: 21 000 steps, walked around for like 7h

Other Observations:

  • Weight went up a bit, but could be salt; period coming in a week; overate a bit. I feel quite slim though. I don’t really expect to lose, realistically, until I go back home and establish a routine there. I’ve been bouncing around 56-57 3x now and it’s because of all the shifting around haha. I’m also going to be exploring the food scene in London as I’m a huge foodie, which I can hopefully offset a little by walking everywhere :stuck_out_tongue:
  • Ah shit I kinda binged and it was also hard because food is such a big part for me when touring; it’s always been. I tried but ugh it’s hard. Going to try my best not to cross 57 from now til 4th July aghhhhhhhhh haha it’s bouncing back up once more -.- CANT WAIT TO HIT THE 55s ermagerd.

#203

Day 83

Weight: 57kg ahhahahahahaha I swear omg this is literally the 4th time I’ve hit 56ish and bounced back to 57

Food Intake: (2175kcal, but it’s hard to tell with the brioche & donuts & burgers)

  • 350ml of ChocFS Huel
  • peel & eat & cs 400g brioche
  • 1 nectarine
  • 2/3 Crosstown salted caramel donut
  • 2 1/2 burgers for Patty&Bun
  • 2 beef brisket nuggets w garlic aioli
  • 1/2 Nutella donut

Exercise: walking for like 8h? 21 000 steps, ~2419kcal burnt

Other Observations:

  • Rn I think I’m trying to gain a balance of Foodie vs Disinterested in Food. When I was deprived and deep in the ED, I used to spend literally all my free time trawling food review and recipe blogs. Search for restaurants to try. And experiment with a lot of baking. As I recovered, I started to stop caring about the various restaurants and virtually stop baking. Now that I’m in London, I’m starting to get excited about trying the variously foods this city has to offer…but I’m scared of getting a little TOO excited. I now have a pretty long list and while I’m enjoying this gastronomic excitement, it doesn’t spell well for my waistline.
  • I can now reside pretty comfortably in my sports bra and shorts haha phewwwww the summer is so HOT. (To think I once would never go out without a cardigan because I would never show my arms)
  • I no longer really centre my travels around food—I mean it’s still really important and I love the local food scene, but I’m also really keen on just EXPLORING. The vibe, the markets, the comedy shows, the pubs, the tours etc. Aka I could still have a ball of a time drinking Huel and travelling around. My Fitbit is probably one of the best investments I’ve made so far: it incentivizes me to come up with new and innovative ways to just MOVE and get those steps in.
  • So I managed to tick 3 places off my food list today, and did so without being triggered to purge! #win I mean I probably overate but well, baby steps.
  • I’m not sure why, at this point in time, I’m getting a bit obsessed and compelled to buy soft brioche breads. It could very well be in anticipation of going back home and facing that bread weakness of mine…