📓 Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss


#304

Day 133

Weight: 53.8kg i saw 53.6 and 54.1 on the scale, but ehh so long as my actions are consistent, I know my goals will be in sight.

Food Intake: (1682kcal in)

  • 1T instant coffee w 5 Flavdrops
  • 150g panfried salmon w 3 sprays oil, 100g mushroom, 100g steamed pumpkin, 150g stir fried broccoli
  • 1 dayplus bun—1/4 custard, 1/4 matcha
  • Snacks—2 eggwhites w 5g nooch, 63g tuna, 1 packet yanyan (minus 5 bread sticks), 30g ovomaltine spread, csbread&4cookies&keropok
  • 112g Huel, ChocFS

Activity: (2306kcal out)

  • 3h of ultimate frisbee! this was so much fun I was sad when it ended. Im not sure if it’s the Huel, but I had SO MUCH ENERGY I was literally running everywhere :’)
  • 14,885 steps total

Other Observations:

  • Another day in the bag! I got this :smiley: It’s pretty cool actually: the moment I realised I was going back to my all or nothing mindset and resolved to focus on my core goals (and also get my ass in gear to not be defeated by “having binged and I’m so going to relapse I’m never gonna be free from this ED shithole”)… those problems essentially dissipated!

#305

You are doing awesome! Keep going :kissing_heart: so great to read! High 5 girl! :raised_hands:


#306

Day 134

Weight: 53.5kg

Food Intake: (1691kcal in, could be more)

  • 112g Huel, MatchaFS
  • 1 tiny piece chocolate cake (~100ish calories)
  • 1 dayplus bun—melon & strawberry
  • 3 egg mostly whites (1/2 yolk)
  • Dinner out w Fam @ Old Airport Road—2 popiah, 7 bites beef noodle, orhluak, black carrot cake, 1 satay, 3 rojak

Activity: (2302kcal out)

  • 1h dance class
  • 14,384 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I’ve been hovering round the 53-54 range for like 2+ weeks hahaha but ehh it’s ok I’ll break it soon enough. Consistency is key, and so is trying my best at every step of the way!
  • Starting to settle into routine :slight_smile: Almost always have a night activity, and I honestly do enjoy the dance and ultimate. Don’t have to force myself to go for it and always get a happy high after :smiley: I DO get a slight craving for strength training about 1-2x a week.
  • I almost skipped a lunch meet with all my primary school teachers and friends because I didn’t want to have to eat outside food bc ED and fears but I went!! And ate Huel because everyone else was nearly done anyway (I went late) and I didn’t think it was worth paying $13.50 at a subpar 1 star eatery LOL what a lifesaver Huel.
  • Also my family suddenly informed me they wanna go out for dinner. I’m not too great with surprise meal plans but I gOT DIS.
  • 8.55pm: I’m feeling all sorts of trash. So many last minute plan changes. I was having a fantastic food day and THEN I was left with 5 minutes of time for dinner with the fam so I shoveled down a shit ton of food without tasting it or thinking rationally like in binge mode…and then my Friend cancelled our 1h of dance so I have LESS ACTIVITY and more time to eat food so I ate even more and uGH it all feels so shit. So I purged a bit…And it feels wasted because I didn’t even enjoy dinner. I was doing so well!!! :frowning: Ah well I’ll take this opprtunity to learn that I can NOT rush my food and it’s really not worth it because I don’t remember eating the food and I just feel like absolute shit after.

#307

Given your stay in hospital for the tonsillitis, it wouldn’t surprise me if the reason for this hovering is the replenishing of muscle tissue cancelling out the weight loss from deficits.


#308

Day 135

Weight: 53.7kg

Food Intake: (2541kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, ChocFS
  • 1 D2Plus strawberry white choc
  • 2 gardenia filled buns minus ~40g bread
  • cs keropok & 2 Milo cookie packets
  • 86g roasted duck
  • ~130g steamed fish curry
  • ice cream x3
  • Dinner @ Ajumma’s—2/3rd beef japchae
  • big cs binge—bread and carbs & shiz

Activity: (2091kcal out)

  • 1h dance class
  • 11,697 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I seem to have an uncanny ability to shovel down at least 2000 calories in an hour or so. I honestly think I’d have little trouble doing the 10,000kcal challenge…
  • Sigh I’m not completely sure why but I guess I momentarily got really sick of counting calories? It wasn’t like the other binges really; I just kinda wanted to eat the duck drumsticks that were in the fridge, and the steamed assam fish but they didn’t fit my calories and :// sigh I’d even planned out my macros pretty well because I knew I was going out to eat today :confused:
  • And so I ate til I was uncomfortably full and then purged some. uGh.

@IcyElemental ah I didn’t think of that; that could very well be so! I don’t feel as weak as I did a while ago :)) my weight lost from a month ago would now be 1.5kg which is the pace it has been before, so hopefully it means it’s somewhat stabilizing :)) thanks for the insight!


#309

Hey Chris

Sorry to hear you’ve had an off day! My period is due & I ate 3 blueberry muffins this afternoon… My first (2nd & 3rd!) in over a month! I was annoyed with myself that I wanted to eat 3 muffins, but they tasted good & there’s no point beating myself up… Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully soon I will be relieved from hormonal carb binge cravings!

I think Icy has hit the nail on the head that you’ve been replacing the muscle you lost when you were ill… That’s what I was trying to get at in previous posts, your body has been thru a bit of an ordeal & needs to recalibrate, that’s why you had an appetite for protein… & it makes sense that you’d be at a plateau with your weight when you’ve been recovering from illness & briefly putting your body into starvation mode… Stay consistent, use all your best tactics not to binge & purge, but don’t beat yourself up if it happens, keep trying to imagine & really picture yourself living a life where you feel calm about food & empowered about being in control… It will get easier. Just keep going! :kissing_heart::+1:


#310

Day 136

Weight: 53.2kg

Food Intake: (1565kcal in)

  • iced coffee :coffee:
  • 1/2 ChocFS Huel
  • 60g boiled chyesim, 30g minced meat soy sauce
  • 1/2 maple DPlus bun
  • 80g japchae
  • 100g enoki mushroom
  • 3 eggwhites w nooch
  • 50g protein bar
  • 4 cheesecake/bread samples
  • 112g Huel, MatchaFS
  • 1 packet Delfi Choco minis

Activity: (2193kcal out)

  • 1h gym
  • some walking, 11,994 steps total

Other Observations:

  • The incision-in-my-throat excuse, although 2 weeks expired, is working like a charm lmao. But I can Rest In Peace knowing it’s not an excuse to bring myself and my body harm but rather to nourish it :slight_smile: Also because I’m honestly just lazy to explain Huel every single time.
  • Busy busy orientation tomorrow!!! Going to be thrown a lil off kilter and schedule, but it’s ok!! It’ll be great, too :slight_smile: I won’t be too hard on myself and will just keep trying my best with my 2 core goals in sight.

#311

Day 137

Weight: 53.4kg

Food Intake: (3012kcal in)

  • 1 iced coffee :coffee:
  • Lunch—112g Huel, ChocFS
  • Snacks—60g Huel w 30g nutrabolics
  • 5 bites donut, 3 bites fillet o fish, 7 sips dark mocha frapp
  • Dinner—1 DPlus blueberry bun, 1 packet Choco delfi minis, 1 cookie
  • …bread binge…—210g sweet bread (1000+kcal)
  • 1 magnum inside ice cream

Activity: (2407kcal out)

  • 17,209 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I’m loving the drink-coffee-upon-waking routine. Satisfied my mental craving for consuming something other than water in the first hour I’m awake. Not actually hungry, just a mental craving.
  • Bread Binge: I admit that the bread binge stemmed from a bad call on my part. It started with the moment I caved and bought what I justified not to be bakery buns (came out of a supermarket packet), because the texture was amazing. But who was I kidding, it was essentially 2 huge loaves of sweet bakery buns which I binged on. And once I started, I had to get rid of it. I don’t want this to happen again, so I won’t kid myself and even psyche myself into buying it to eat in “measured proportions”. I’m not there yet, and I can still eat my DPlus bun. But ugh fark I was doing INCREDIBLY well and had 1600ish calories by the end of the day…which I then ruined by consuming 1000+kcal of bread and attempting to purge to not much avail. Bread is a bitch to purge haha tmi.
  • I will give myself some slack. I’m on a camp, I didn’t know what the food situation would be like, and I really did try my best. Now I know what it’s like, I’m gonna do better tomorrow.
  • Constipated :< felt like going 2 nights ago but noThing

#312

Are you still gymming a fair bit Chris? Or have you laid off?

Just trying to spot trends in your posts over time and align these with what may have changed in your schedule.

I often wondered whether if you gymmed with a proper routine your brain would start focusing and obsessing over that instead of a trivial thing like your bodyweight.

This was the only thing that solved my problems with food and weight and I’m confident that if I stopped my gym routine for more than a few days I’d be back in a dark place looking at the scale.

It also makes gaining weight fun and an achievement - I’ve increased from 78kg to 83kg since my cut, but my lifts have all gone up so when I see a scale increase I’m like WOOOO.


#313

Day 138

Weight: 53.6kg

Food Intake: (2954kcal in)

Activity: (2574kcal out)

Other Observations:

  • Huge binge & binge urges sigh. Similar to yesterday I suppose albeit slightly better.
  • Too tired to think, but camp ends tomorrow!

#314

Day 139

Weight: 55kg. Oops.

Food Intake:(1886kcal in)

Activity: (2774kcal out)


#315

Ups and downs, swings and roundabouts, that’s life :slightly_smiling_face: if every day was the same you’d fall off one end of the scale. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t overthink it


#316

Day 140

Weight: 54.3kg I WILL GO BACK TO MY REGULAR ROUTINE AND IT WILL ALL BE FINE.

Food Intake: (1595kcal in)

  • Lunch—broccoli, pumpkin, mushroom, tuna
  • 2 egg whites w nooch
  • 5g orhnee
  • 10 ikanbilis
  • 68g chye poh
  • 1 Nutella b-ready
  • 9 teddy biscuits
  • 35g Ovomaltine crunchy cream
  • cs7 bread + 3 keropok
  • 112g Huel, MatchaFS

Activity: (2098kcal out)

  • 2h dance class
  • 12,500 steps total

Other Observations:

  • had quite a bingey afternoon
  • BMs have come the moment my schedule disruption from camp ended

#317

are you gonna make your blog a book? :slight_smile:


#318

Day 141

Weight: 53.6kg ALWAYS bounce back after a binge/the scale has increased. Don’t wait for that 1.4kg jump in scale to actually become fat gained because of the “I’ve already gained weight might as well binge” mindset.

Food Intake: (1856kcal in)

  • 1T coffee
  • Lunch—
  • Snacks—
  • Dinner—112g Huel, CocoaFS
  • 150g vodka w 500ml Diet Pepsi

Activity: (2290kcal out)

  • 2h Ultimate

Other Observations:

  • I’m down to my last packet of Huel which has to last me the whole of next month!!! :persevere: Was originally gonna do a week of Huel (and try to finally reach my 52kg goal), but it looks like that is now going to be impossible. Sadreaxonly Huel y u no ship to Asia?
  • Sufficient sleep is definitely necessary to reduce and mentally fight binge urges
  • Aaaaaaand I kinda binged and purged again ahhhhhhhhhhh :< this is so not the way to go sighs

@chrisski HAHA what do you mean…?

@GTIPuG I still do gym yes, although proper gym routine could be a possible plan for the future. Rn I’m focusing more on dance (I want to learn the skill) and ultimate frisbee, with gym thrown in maybe once or twice a week in addition. But yeah, I see what you mean by not worrying as much about weight increasing especially if you know it means muscle & GAINZ.


#319

Right, who’s starting the #gethueltojeffy fundraiser to ship this stuff out east


#320

Day 142

Weight: 53.0kg hello alcohol dehydration

Food Intake: (2308kcal in)

  • Lunch—1/2 of Huel, broccoli, mushroom, 1 dayplus bun
  • 2nd Lunch @ Nassim—2/3rd Hot Reuben sandwich, some bites mushroom panini & Eggs Benedict
  • Dinner—1 Mr Softee chendol, 1/2 tin tuna w 2 wakame
  • cs—5 bread, 3 keropok, 2 buns, 1 packet of biscuits
  • 20g Nutrabolics

Activity: (2757kcal out)

  • 1/2h circuit workout @ Fightzone
  • 26,096 steps total

@RyanT LOL you cracked me up :stuck_out_tongue: I ain’t objecting tho :joy:


#321

Day 143

Weight: 53.9kg ugh these 53-54 fluctuations need to STOP.

Food Intake: (1656kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, ChocFS
  • 80g wakame w 1/2 tin tuna & Dijonnaise
  • 1 Hokkaido cream dayplus
  • mushroom, pumpkin, chyepoh
  • 1 bread, 20 chips more, 4 packet biscuits, 3 fruitella
  • 32g Huel granola, 5g granola
  • 21g Nutrabolics
  • 7 chips more mini cookies
  • 15 pieces of chicken curry

Activity: (1877kcal out)

  • 30min HIIT with friends (could honestly do more LOL)

Other Observations:

  • There’s honestly a lot more I could do to lose weight…but I don’t know why I’m just not motivated enough to? Like my drive to restrict always stemmed from body hatred but I don’t hate my body now so I really need to find another source of inspiration lmao.
  • On this fateful day, my Huel granola ran out :’( Can’t wait to get my new supply when I get back to the UK!!
  • I’m starting to feel nearly no inertia when going to workout heheh like I now expect to feel tired and sleepy before, and great during.

#322

Eating healthy and feeling good should be your inspiration :grinning:
And Im not even sure you need to loose more weight? Bin wise you are spot on, fat% wise obviously I have no clue about though. Maintaining is also an task you need to master and if 54/53 is your ideal weight you are doing great :+1:t2:


#323

Day 144

Weight: 53.5kg

Food Intake: (1595kcal in)

  • Lunch—112g Huel, MatchaFS
  • 1/2 Quest cookies & cream bar
  • 1 watermelon :watermelon:
  • 2 eggs so expensive but I LOVE IT ermagerd it’s the only yolk I eat tbh
  • 1 Blueberry Dayplus
  • Dinner—6 tofu, 4-6 chicken curry pieces, some beenppn, 2 fish slices, 1 siew mai

Activity: (2246kcal out)

  • 1h PF TRX Blast class i didn’t do this all out tho oops could’ve pushed harder, but i enjoyed it nonetheless
  • 1h Hip Hop class
  • 14,085 steps total

Other Observations:

  • It’s a new month, it’s a renewed energy and belief in myself with which I shall tackle weight loss. I’m gonna go from the no-longer-fat/fat/ phase to ‘looking more aesthetic’. I’d gotten comfortable and complacent in that phase, but no longer. I got thisssssssss.
  • VERY GOOD day food-wise! Stuck to my goals; didn’t feel distressed; hung out with people spontaneously; didn’t cs or b/p :smiley: ONE DAY DOWN, 6 MORE TO GO (I’m committing to this for a week at least)
  • 12+am: a bit of hunger

@Penthesilea hahah true, true, except that’s not a short-term feedback like the instant gratification of tasty food ^^’ Hm true, although I still have a wide berth of 10+kg that I can still lose and be in the healthy weight range! And yeah my BF% still needs work HAHA