📓 Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss


#324

Day 145

Weight: 53.4kg this is more like it. I realised I no longer like huge fluctuations in either direction. I want something predictable, I want to be able to be in tune with my body in a stable and consistent manner

Food Intake: (1861kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, 3g coffee
  • 2x 85g chicken w teriyaki marinade + 150g cabbage
  • 1 quest bar
  • 2 cashew cookies
  • 2/3rd kong guan lemon puff cookie
  • 9 mini chips more
  • random—1 tiny sesame mooncake bit, 3 teaspoons black sesame dessert, 2 bites beehoon veggies
  • Dinner—1 pandan bread, 12 chicken curry, 85g chicken w 3g mustard, 200g cabbage, 50g raw carrots

Activity: (2224kcal out)

  • 1h 20min PF classes—Bodyattack (391kcal) & Bodyjam (130kcal)
  • 13,825 steps total

Other Observations:

  • was SO HUNGRY at dinner time
  • was very tempted to cs after dinner but I’d made up my mind not to eat anymore after my last slice of pandan bread and I didn’t! so no binging and purging, although exceeded IF by 16min.

#325

Day 146

Weight: 53.3kg hehe

Food Intake: (1509kcal in)

  • 1 heaping T iced coffee
  • 112g Huel, 15 Toffee Flavdrops
  • 85-90g chicken w teriyaki marinade + 200g cabbage + 1 pandan bread
  • Snacks—80g carrots, 1 packet teddies, 1 Honeycomb Magnum ice cream, 2 eggwhites w nooch & mustard, 30g chyesim w 22g minced meat, some granola
  • Dinner—200g cabbage + 100g enoki mushrooms + 1/2 tin tuna

Activity: (2272kcal out)

  • 45min PF Barre & 10min inclined treadmill
  • 1.5h dance class
  • 11,975 steps total

Other Observations:

  • Hehehehe the Barre instructor Henry couldn’t believe it was my first Barre class he was so surprised when I did proper pushups & said I was “really fit” :’)))
  • Raw carrots are gonna be my new Best Friend snax hehehe
  • I used to want to go all out and do like 3-4 fitness classes in a day… now I’m trying to remind myself that doing 1-2 well and consistently is way better and more sustainable.
  • oooooh turns out my BMI went from 26.2 to 22.8 yay!
  • 12+am: a lil hunger

#326

Wow, this thread is Awesome… and worrisome at the same time.

First of all I understand you are trying to lose weight, reach a goal and maintain a healthy diet. For this you are tracking everything and being really methodic. Honestly, congratulations for being able to keep such a high standard of tracking.

Now the BUTs. This is reminds me of my anorexic times. ULTRA obsession with perfection (perfect body); living life around calories (counting every single calorie burnt and eaten, even squating instead of bending my back to pick things up); absolute control over what I ate; and the sensation I could always do more.

I used to do a lot of exercise, tons of cardio and weight (sometimes twice a day). All because I wanted to eat more, and put some muscle mass on. Oh that Arnold look, I was going to get there at some point. I become obsessed with it and went down to 54kg as 173 20yo male. That definitely was too low for me.
However, the main toll was not the physical weight, but the mental weight. The strictness, the perfection, the obsession make you live your life around counting calories and create a continuous stress. It won’t be healthy in the long run. You might break down for X or Y reasons, and then it will be hard times
I feel like knowing how to loosen yourself is an important behavioural trait. Health is both physical and mental, and I feel you are putting a strain on yourself you might pay later. In my case, I went from 54 to 100 in 6 months. It wasn’t pretty.

I am not here to lecture but to share my experience. I hope I’m wrong, but caring about <1kg fluctuations is obsession. Weight changes daily. Water, stomach load, stress… all have an effect. So it’s being so meticulous. Doing so many exercise. It was something I used to do.

Hope you the best


#327

@Latestfuels Hey! Thanks for your concern :slight_smile: (not to be snarky or anything but) I see you’ve had a read time of 23 minutes over 12 topics, so I’m guessing you’ve probably just seen the last couple of posts on this thread. I’m not saying I don’t have disordered tendencies (I still binge and purge and have disordered thoughts), but as the people who’ve been here since the very beginning [shoutout to you guys you MVPs] can probably attest to, it’s been a LOOONG journey with many ups and downs, and I simply try to be self aware and keep doing my best. I’ve also come a long way mentally, if I may say so myself.

Balancing between ED recovery and weight loss has been the bane of my existence. (Both of which require SO MUCH EFFORT) And for that, I have my psychologist to keep me in check too. Re: being methodical and tracking everything; it’s always been in my nature to be consistent and Type A, but recovery has also taught me to incorporate flexibility into that. Recovery doesn’t mean disregarding tracking; to me, it means being able to not feel distressed when I deviate from routine, or am unable to track things to utmost precision.

Thanks for sharing your experience, EDs are definitely no joke and are hell to experience. Hope you’re in a better mental place now! :slight_smile:


#328

Chris, not a dig or anything, genuine question that’s just popped up while catching up on your latest.

Have you ever kind of thought “Wow I’m over a stone below where I started, maybe I can ease up a little”?

Is the end goal for you perhaps 50kg? Or is it a visual point where you thinking “I’m happy with how I look now”?

Just curious as I always said “I’ll stop when I have a dent between my pecs and a horseshoe for triceps”. Difference is, I never stopped because it’s never been enough to feel like I’m “there”.

Just curious :smiley:


#329

You are definitely right when you assume I have not read through all the post. Probably, I have stepped over the line or approached the issue in the wrong way. I should have definitely informed myself more, before making such an upfront post.

I just wanted to share my thoughts and perhaps annoyingly remind you of things I have no business reminding you. I remember I used to hate people reminding me.

I just found the timestamp really long and wished to share with you so you might get something from the story.

I hope you all the best


#330

@GTIPuG HELLO you :wave:
Haha hmmm as of now my weight goals are 52, then 50 by the end of the year and 48 by mid-Feb. Why? Not completely sure; I guess it’s somewhat of a personal challenge since it’s still not too hard to cut and I remember liking how I looked at 46kg eons ago. At 48 or 50 I’ll assess body composition and see I suppose! I’d ideally like to have the middle ab line, it’s been a goal for many a New Year :joy:
Also I’d eased up for basically all of August and I don’t really like how directionless my progress had become so yeah NEW SEPTEMBER NEW RESTART; love the drive and consistency it gives me.
LOL so what are your goals now, and do you think you’ll never stop then? (Also, stop what?)

@Latestfuels don’t worry I wasn’t offended or anything, no harm done :slight_smile: (also LOL I don’t expect you or any new readers to read the entire thread before commenting—that’ll probably take you like 10 hours or something :joy:) I really do understand that you’re coming from a place of concern; I too often am more sensitive to recovering-ED people possibly slipping back so I get it haha. But yeah I guess I don’t really like constantly wondering if I’m going too far, because that’s a major proportion of my distress and angst in recovery; a periodic check and balance is more healthy now :slight_smile:


#331

Day 147

Weight: 52.9kg apparently I’m exactly the same weight as I was 1 month ago on 4/8, the lowest weight I’d reached because of tonsillitis. This time, it’s not just muscle and water weight hehe. My 52kg goal seems to be in sight!!

Food Intake: (1354kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, MatchaFS
  • 200g cabbage + 100g pumpkin + 12g mustard + 2 eggwhites + 6g nooch
  • 71g Milo ice cream
  • 3/4 quest bar
  • 101g Milo ice cream
  • 200g cabbage + 100g mushroom + 1/2 tin tuna
  • 1/4 quest bar

Activity: (2536kcal out)

  • 1h dance class
  • 30min PF RPM
  • 45min PF Abs Butts Thighs

Other Observations:

  • lmao I had a dream wherein I ate matcha Japanese biscuits (I was running around with a shit ton of snacks and dropping them along the way) at 10.08am and was like oh shit ahaha I now have to write that I broke IF. My habits have infiltrated my subconsciousness. Habit or obsession? Who knows.
  • I accidentally ate too few calories but I already feel like I’m eating all the time and I’m SO FULL hahaha I guess that’s what happens when you eat voluminous foods! Plus I ate like half a tub of ice cream. (AND didn’t purge it—win!)
  • UHHHHHHHH so that 1200kcal deficit was very much accidental. I honestly had to make myself eat dinner because I wasn’t hungry, and topped it up with 1/4 of a quest bar because I knew I didn’t want to undereat by too much. And I felt hella strong during all my workouts I did a lil more strength exercises after too.
  • I’m gonna make sure I eat at least 1500kcal or a lil more (although staying under calories burnt) tomorrow because mentally, I feel myself feeling happy/proud that the deficit was so effortlessly huge. NO NO NO I want this to be sustainable, not a fast fix.
  • Exercise: Exercise is starting to be a way for me to energize myself (I do it when feeling sleepy and bam I become hella alert and energetic???). I never understood when people said it, but yeah it actually does help to clear my mind and relieve stress :’)

#332

Day 148

Weight: 52.8kg I accidentally typed “58.2” first HAHAH wow. To think 58.2 was such a huge accomplishment :’)

Food Intake: (1500kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, ChocFS
  • 200g cabbage + 100g enoki mushroom + 100g pumpkin this staple is actually life
  • 108g Hokey Pokey ice cream
  • 1 popiah
  • 1 quest bar minus 19g
  • 1 Pepperidge Farm cookie
  • 1/2 can tuna + 2 lemon Oreo thins

Activity: (2686kcal out)

  • 1h PF Roller
  • 1/2h PF Sprint
  • 3h Ultimate
  • 17,180 steps total

Other Observations:

  • My entire body was ACHING upon waking haha yesterday it was just my triceps.
  • A part of me was slightly disappointed I’d only lost 100g despite having a 1200kcal deficit. BUT I know this is irrational—fat loss from a caloric deficit is over time, and I should already be content that my weight lost has stayed rather than the erratic fluctuation it’d been before. ALSO MUSCLE MASS RETAINED! And if I keep going, hitting 52kg before I fly back to the UK on the 25th is more than within my reach!
  • If there’s anything I’ve learned, I LOVE routine (as you can probably tell from my food diary lol). I’ve quickly settled into my food routine, and my exercise/work/chill routine, and it’s so productive and predictable and lmao I can totally see the slight appeal of a 9-5.
  • Routine: Now I drink coffee upon waking around 11am, do some work, eat 1/2 my Huel at 12pm, eat other veggies, some protein, some sweets like ice cream. Do more work/watch Netflix. Eat protein snacks & bread/sweets at 3pm. Do more work. Travel to gym or dance. Drink 1/2 my Huel at 7+pm, and veggies with tuna or eggs. Go to dance from 8-9. Come back home and practise dance. Stay up doing who knows what til like 3am; feel slight hunger around 1+ or 2+am.
  • So I ate 1500kcal on the dot like I said I would bUT I ACCIDENTALLY ENDED UP BURNING TOO MUCH AGAIN lmao. And it was a chill 45min rolling stretching class, plus I told myself I was sleepy and wasn’t feeling like treadmilling. I’m kinda hungry at 11+pm so yh should’ve eaten more. I kinda felt like I was already shoveling down a whole bunch of food tho!! And a fair bit of treats…
  • I think I’m getting fitter! When playing ultimate, my heart was pounding, but my breathing was quite regulated and I didn’t feel like dying! :smiley: Lost my pull-ups tho.

#333

Is it weird to quote yourself? (yes)
But oh man how far I’ve come :’) I now take my shirt off shamelessly in the changing room and would be more than willing to go down to the beach in a sports bra and shorts hehe #nonscalevictories


#334

Day 149

Weight: 52.9kg no BM tho

Food Intake: (1596kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, chocFS & 3g coffee
  • coffee
  • 200g cabbage + 100g mushroom + 100g pumpkin + 3g mustard
  • 89g pan fried salmon skin
  • 106g hokey pokey ice cream
  • Snacks—1 eggwhite w nooch & mustard, Milo ice cream, 109g hokey pokey ice cream confession: i ate too much ice cream, felt sick and guilty, and purged a bit :// , 4 Marie biscuits w 2g black sesame paste, 1/2 chocolate cookie

Activity: (2368kcal out)

  • PF Bodybalance
  • 1h PF Circuit Blitz (391kcal)
  • 1h dance class
  • 13,574 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I’m a lil impatient to finally hit 52 ahhhhhhh it’s been my long term goal since the very beginning in March when I started my journey!
  • I’m v v v and increasingly aware how unsustainable doing 2-3h of exercise a day is for me, plus I’d like to spend the time doing other things too lmao. But in this week I’ve started to find that I’m doing exercise rooted in self love, not punishment (and hence doing classes like rolling and Body Balance which don’t exactly burn calories). So yeah after tomorrow I need to reorientate and mentally prep for reducing my activity (my 1 week gym pass expires), and know that weight loss is 80% diet.
  • Continuing this routine is likely to result in an all or nothing mindset, and everyone knows that the best diet/routine you can have is the one you can stick to.

#335

According to the topic header,

There are 330 replies with an estimated read time of 154 minutes

Come on people that’s only 2 and a half hours of solid reading please do your homework :joy:


#336

Day 150

Weight: 52.5kg !!! yet another reminder not to freak when the scale increases inexplicably. I’ve been doing this so long I really do understand my body a lot more, especially if I have a consistent routine.

Food Intake: (1812kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, MatchaFS
  • 200g cabbage, 100g pumpkin, some mushroom, 1/2 tin tuna
  • 1/2 chocolate cookie
  • ~150+g rendang chicken
  • 100g chicken breast
  • Hokey pokey ice cream, 1.2 B&J pint slice purged…
  • 1 tin tuna w 20g mustard, 80g raw carrots

Activity: (2676kcal out)

  • 1h PF Terra Core (302kcal)
  • 1h PF Body Attack (350+kcal)
  • clubbing dancing LOL
  • 18,577 steps total

Other Observations:

  • GAAAAAAIZ this is the lowest weight I’ve been, tonsillitis water/muscle weight drop included!! Plus I’m not as weak as I was then so I’m p sure fat has been lost. I’M SO CLOSE TO MY 52KG GOAL I CAN FEEL IT. I should have it in the bag in 2 weeks’ time! IM SO EXCITED omg I honestly never thought that goal would even be in sight when I’d started in March… You really can accomplish your dreams if you just take it one step at a time and never stop trying your best.
  • Aside from the number: Just a week ago I was feeling so out of control—cs, binging and purging all the time, the number on the scale fluctuating erratically. I steeled my mind, summoned my drive, decided to take it a week of consistency. Indeed, 1 week and 1 gym pass later, I’ve lost 1kg (I am not expecting to keep this rate up of course), and I believe in myself again.
  • Purge Prob: Sigh apparently ice cream is still a huuuuge purge trigger, it’s just so easy to get back up and ugh I just can’t find enough reasons to not.
  • Wondering if I should drink alcohol while clubbing today hMM :thinking:
  • FELT SO STRONG AND ENERGETIC during the last workout today!!! Was such a great end. It always amazes me how I can be feeling so lethargic and bleh and not want to work out but once I start…I feel so good. I want to keep repeating this.

#337

@RyanT HAHAHAHA that cracked me up. Goes to show that for you oldies, a coupla minutes of reading every day turns into a 3h read time! #consistencyiskey :joy:

(I’m still surprised it’s not 10h… or maybe I’m just a slow reader)


#338

Day 151

Weight: 52.5-6kg I CHOOSE NOT TO BE DISAPPOINTED.

Food Intake: (>3100kcal)

Activity: (2258kcal out)

  • basically none…I even missed Kayaking which we’d planned for ages ;-;
  • 17,096 steps total

Other Observations:

  • 0.9-1kg loss in a week (and my original goal was to stabilise at 53.5!) it’s funny how insatiable our desire can get… so I’ll consciously be happy about the progress, and try to maintain at 52.5 or go down to 52.2kg in the next week!
  • Not doing as much exercise: I’ve started to somewhat fear that if I don’t keep up 2-3h of activity everyday, I’ll gain weight. I’m therefore going to fight these irrational thoughts
  • …aaaaaaand I didn’t fight them. I binged, I purged, I csed, I bought bread to binge on and binged again. This isn’t gonna be great, but no matter what I’ll keep to the 12-8 time window, and I’d already Huel’d.
  • Intake: Tbh idk how to count today’s intake. Binge purge cs binge binge purge… i just know it was at least a 1000kcal Surplus fml. Tomorrow will be good, as will the next week.
  • I’m too tired to break down what went wrong and learn from this, but I will prepare myself for the coming week.
  • The scale will probably increase to around 53.5kg tomorrow, but I will pre-empt this by saying it’s probably glycogen, water weight and some fat. I DO have an overall weekly deficit, so I am not going to blow it all by going on a week-long binge sabotage. For the next week, I shall 12-8 and Huel as my core goals. I’ll try to get activity in, and will aim for a 1900kcal out.
  • Learnt: Sleep, ice cream purge trigger, all or noThing mindset, changing routine not all at once
  • How it was good: It was kind of like an unplanned cheat day, which i know isn’t really a plan I’d like to adopt. Aside from the stress though, I must say it had the positive effects of eating whatever I felt like without having to meticulously count and plan calories and macros; I could go out with my Friend and eat whatever we felt like, and I have my food cravings largely satisfied. Let’s take it as an investment for me to have greater adherence to my plan in the coming week.
  • My Friend is visiting my lovely hometown this week…and it means a lot of temptations because he’s a huge foodie and I’m going to be bringing him around and I’m scared he’ll try to push food on me. I’m going to explain it to him that I’m trying to lose weight and not to sabotage my efforts. Ugh it’s actually stressing me out quite a bit.
  • I’ve noticed that sometimes I’m just a little sick of counting calories and putting in effort to hit macros. If this continues, I may have a day once in a while wherein I don’t count, but have guidelines for it not to become a binging day like: (for some mental relief to get back even stronger)
  1. Huel for one meal
  2. IF 12-8
  3. Water
  4. Have meals at around 12, 3 and 7.
  5. Watch portion sizes (1/2 plate veggies, 1/4 protein, 1/4 carbs), & don’t overkill it on the dessert.
  • 1.50am: Some hunger

I have 482g left of Huel…and ~15 days left here. That’s 32g of Huel per day. Or if I concoct a mixture of 60g & 30g whey, that’s about 8 days. Regardless, I’m going to have to accept that I’ll have at least a week wherein I don’t have Huel (which honestly is less than expected). I’ll just have to eat balanced meals on my own, which I can totally do!! Plus I have tons of food I need to finish before I go back to the UK :slight_smile:

Update: I FOUND A PACK OF HUEL DEEP IN MY CLOSET OMG LIFESAVERRR!!! I have at least 35 meals of Huel now I could even do Huel double days!


#339

Day 152

Weight: 53.1kg oops

Food Intake: (2310kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, ChocFS
  • 200g cabbage + 100g mushroom + 100g pumpkin
  • some pesto shrimp pasta
  • 30g butter cake & 1/4 diluted Milo
  • 100g chicken
  • 90g raw carrots
  • [a lot of ice cream & stuff idk]

Activity: none bc donated blood (1614kcal out)

Other Observations:

  • b/p’d fml

#340

Day 153

Weight: 53.0kg

Food Intake: (1589kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, Rhubarb&CustardFS
  • 200g cabbage + 100g mushroom + 100g pumpkin
  • 118g Hokey Pokey Ice Cream nearly purged but DIDN’T. Accountability & Consistency!
  • Snacks–1 packet double decker cheese rings, 8g cheese balls, 1/2 can tuna w 35g carrots, 2 Oreo thins, 2 kinder bueno
  • 87g chicken breast
  • 2-egg egg kalakki
  • 2 chewing gum

Activity: (2388kcal out)

  • 1h Muay Thai (414kcal)
  • 1h dance class
  • 14,764 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I’m not going to buy any more ice cream for a while. Way too big of a purge trigger. Can’t wait til I go back to the UK to Halo Top ice cream hehe.
  • felt weak and exhausted the whole of today sigh
  • 1.45am: slight hunger, thought it’d never come

#341

Well done for not purging!


#342

Day 154

Weight: 53.2kg not sure what happened, p sure I’m in a deficit, though I feel rly bloated and my stomach’s bulging out despite not having eaten fo the last 16h

Food Intake: (1693+kcal in)

  • 112g Huel, MochaFS hands down the best flavour, i miss my mocha FS pouch that I left back in the UK :frowning:
  • 14g lotus paste & cs bread
  • 200g cabbage + 100g pumpkin + 100g mushroom
  • 224g cod fish bones w sauce
  • 114g Milo ice cream
  • 1/2 kinder bueno + 1 mini Choco mucho
  • csbinge—6 choc, 1 bread, cheese balls, 5 corn
  • 1 egg white w 3g nooch
  • 2 egg whites + tomato egg
  • 1/2 tin tuna w mustard & 81g carrots
  • 1/4 strawberry quest bar

Activity: (2240kcal out)

  • 35min strength training
  • 1h dance
  • 13,231 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I’m so sick of being accountable food-wise; I lowkey just wanna screw macros and screw calories and eat a crepe/sushi with mayo/caifan/whatever without counting or guilt or wanting to binge or purge or having it show on the scale the next day uGh. But I know it’s but a fantasy.
  • Huge binge urges the whole day despite feeling stuffed upon waking. :frowning:
  • So today wasn’t the best. BUT towards the evening even though I wanted to skip the gym and skip dance and binge on sushi and more egg and eggplant and ice cream and onigiri (the cravings and urges were REAL)… I continued to do my best, and for that I’m proud. I may have over eaten, but I did the best I could. I tore myself away, I went to try on clothes instead, I went to dance, I ate 1/4 of a protein bar, I stopped eating at 8, and I didn’t let my overeating push me into a full out binge.
  • I WANT A CHEAT DAY hahahahaha (aka a planned day of binging my heart out according to my whims and desires and not counting calories) but sigh alas it’ll probably set me back quite a bit re: my goals :confused: I also kinda want to go to a sushi buffet. Not sure why I’m so done but sigh I guess it gets a bit mentally taxing sometimes, always trying. Plus I’ve virtually counted calories since I was 13 so it’s been a while haha. I don’t think I’ve ever had a time where I’d knowing planned beforehand a cheat day not borne out of restriction; it’s always been out of control binges, or the time when I had no direction and was binging from morning to night and feeeling guilty and putting on tons of fat.

#343

STOPPING CALORIE COUNTING???

Hahaha tried my hand at something click-baitey.

But no really though. I’m planning to take a break from calorie counting, for the following reasons, with the following guidelines.

—Why?—
After staying up for 3h at night scrolling through pages and pages of food, desperately wishing to go to a buffet and binge my heart out, I realised something needed to change.

  • I was weighing all my food to an almost obsessive degree, and would get really flustered if someone took some of it.
  • My brain was finding ways to rebel so that I couldn’t track too precisely: cs, binge purges, buying egg kalakki, buying caifan food…
  • Another weighing: I was getting really tired of constantly weighing the pros and cons of a certain food.
  • I didn’t want to eat fruits so I could “spend” the carbs on sweets instead.
  • I started disregarding my body’s hunger signals because “the number would tell me I hadn’t eaten enough” so I’d stuff myself, or would feel too guilty for eating too much earlier in the day.
  • I started being unable to eat foods without calorie counts (aka home cooked food and non-convenience store food), viewing it as “bad”.
  • Going out has thus become a huge source of stress and less enjoyment.

—Goals—

  • To get rid of binge cravings honestly though, what I was craving wasn’t the freedom to eat anything and everything, it was the freedom to eat without thinking and planning so obsessively
  • To be able to eat more freely and foods I want to eat that are yummy that don’t neceaaarily have calorie counts, like home cooked food and eating out with friends and sushi with mayo on it.
  • To listen more to my body’s cues.
  • To trust that I can eyeball portions and choices that are indeed good for me.
  • Mental relief, so I can go back to calorie counting with a healthier mental space.

—Guidelines—

  1. Huel 1 meal a day
  2. 12-8 IF
  3. Water before & during meal
  4. Portion sizes + don’t go crazy on the sweets (1 fun food)
  5. 10,000 steps / activity
  6. Don’t eat til I’m stuffed; pay attention to cravings and satiation levels

I’ll still be weighing myself daily as a check and balance system. I’ll prepare myself for a bit of a gain as I get used to listening to my body again, and I don’t know if I’ll lose, but I think this is very necessary. My Friend’s over, and I’ll use this opportunity because he eats like a Normal Peraon and there is no way I’m going to be binging or csing with him around.
I’m going to be doing this from tomorrow til I feel ready/want to go back to calorie counting. This is all for myself, for what’s best for me. NO MORE SELF DESTRUCTION :slight_smile: