šŸ““ Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss

This is absolutely excellent news, Iā€™m so happy for you. Youā€™re getting over the wobble, keep regaining your balance. You are the blue heron!! :blue_heart:

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Yes! Smash day 2 to pieces. :muscle:t3:

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Day 204

Weight: 53.1kg

Food Intake: (1543+kcal in, ~1850kcal)

  • 112g NewHuel, MochaFS & Banana Flavdrops
  • 150g chicken slices
  • 100g carrots
  • 2 Bueno + 10 butterfingers
  • 5 butterfingers aight imma stop buying these as part of my stash; rn canā€™t stop oops. will eat a protein bar or fruits or popcorn instead
  • 60g Huel Granola
  • 200g Skyr
  • csbiscuits&bread&stuff

Activity: (1655kcal out)

  • 6255 steps total

Other Observations:

  • Already ate ~850+ calories in 2h; but Iā€™m confident I still got this day under control!
  • Iā€™m REALLY TIRED so that definitely makes me crave food mentally even when not hungry
  • Havenā€™t really had binge urges; especially once I established to myself that bp=weight gain lel
  • 4.35pm: Slight binge urges (it seems tempting because I donā€™t have too many cals left for dinner) but I will force myself to look more long term

Days B/P Free: 2 Days

@MarkyT smashed it!!!

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GET.THE.FUCK.IN.

Well done @jeffy89, this is genuinely superb news.

Look day 3 square in the eyes and shake your head slowly and silently at it. Day 3 needs to heed your warning. :muscle:t3:

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Inb4 mod profanity edit

image https://media3.giphy.com/media/xT1XH0lC7yoLLB1BSM/giphy.gif?cid=19f5b51a5bdc0c3c4831437349d9f0b4

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I donā€™t think they give a @%&Ā£ on this thread GTI, my sweary post from the other day is still fully intact!

Chris you are doing brilliant as MarkyT has said, keep goooooing!!! :clap::+1::blush::ok_hand::blue_heart:

Iā€™ve had stuff removed by Tim before :stuck_out_tongue:

Thatā€™s the thing about being a plant, you get away with all sortsā€¦ :herb::wink::rofl:

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Day 205

Weight: 52.8kg this is what not bping does! regularity!

Food Intake: (3645kcal in)

  • 1/2 of 112g Huel
  • 53g Huel Granola
  • The Lunchā€”4 fruit sticks (1 melon, 1 pineapple, 2 grapes, 1 strawberry), 5 root veggie chips, veggies w 2t hummus, BBQ mealworms
  • 1 Huel Orange Bar this wasnā€™t as mind blowing as Iā€™d expected from the reviews, but tastes good nonetheless and better than original!
  • 100g carrots
  • 150g chicken slices
  • 1/2 onion cheese toastie MODERATION AT ITS BEST!! Was gonna delegate this in my head as binge food but I decided to share it with my Friend instead
  • cabbage, mushroom, salted egg fish skin,
  • cssunbites, kitkat, marshmallow, yogurt bar, oreo
  • 1804kcal bpā€“300g ice cream, 255g iced madeira cake

Activity: (1675kcal out)

  • 5364 steps total

Other Observations:

  • I have a free lunch that Iā€™m going to (and possibly dinner) so this is kind of iffy ground for me, but Iā€™m determined to practise moderation. I CAN fit things into my calories (heck I fit 15 butterfingers into my calories yesterday)
  • Huel becoming a norm: On the off chance the Huel staff actually sees my posts, good job on the marketing front; Huel is actually starting to become such a norm at my Uni! Itā€™s made its way onto meme pages (and when everyone starts tagging each otherā€¦you realise how far reaching and popular Huel is here!). Itā€™s actually pretty cool because now Iā€™m starting to feel a lot less weird talking about it, and have actually convinced many of them to give it a go! :tada:
  • 3.23pm: Survived Lunch sensibly! Huel satiated me enough to make good decisions; mostly ate fruits and veggies with some hummus & mealworms (LOL)
  • Uni stress and a hectic schedule is real. Iā€™m acknowledging that I wonā€™t be able to workout everyday as I did back home, or get my 10000 steps in all the time. And thatā€™s okay. More exercise is better than none, and I ultimately want to celebrate my body being able to move and to take care of it instead of as punishment.
  • 1.48am: ā€¦Iā€™d hate to admit itā€¦but 3 days bp free is a no go :frowning: Really sorry to disappoint you guys @MarkyT and @VenusFly :frowning: I tried so frikin hard throughout the whole day but I had way too many triggers that by the end of it when I got home I just was so done with mentally fighting my demons that I caved. Too much, too fast, all at once. Itā€™s also really hard because in the next week I have too many social events going on and ://// If I gotta purge some Iā€™ll at least try not to go on a full-blown binge. Nonetheless I HAVE seen how amazing & regulated the last 2.5 days have been and I WANT THAT. I see how great Huel makes me feel too. Iā€™m not going to stop trying.
  1. Unknown lunch
  2. Being peckish the whole day trying to study
  3. Toastie temptation
  4. Unknown dinner & cals & cake
  5. Having overeaten
  6. Going to my mailbox and having received a ton of snacks in surprise care-packages
  7. Kinda-bf surprised me with my favourite cake
  8. Looking at my schedule and realising itā€™s unlikely Iā€™ll be able to carry my bp-free streak for longā€¦ :confused:
  • My throat really hurts :frowning:

@MarkyT YES Iā€™LL TRY MY BEST thank you!! I havenā€™t gone 3 days without bp-ing here yet, so todayā€™s gonna be the kicker!

@GTIPuG @VenusFly LOL you guys are hilarious! Although if you notice carefully, Iā€™m pretty sure the Huel guys donā€™t even know my thread exists; theyā€™ve never had any interaction with these posts ever! :joy::sob: Curse away!

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Enjoy your lunch & dinner, you can deffo do moderation & IF you blow your calories a bit, itā€™s better to have blown them a bit than to blow them, then go on a binge cos youā€™ve blown them, then purge cos you binged. You donā€™t have to be perfect, just going in the right direction, which you certainly seem to be now. :+1::kissing_heart:

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Just think how youā€™ll feel if youā€™ve blasted through day 3, into unchartered territory. Day 4 will be running scared. You are doing fantastically well Chris and you should be very proud of your progress. :muscle:t3:

Mealworms? Training for an appearance on ā€œIā€™m a celebā€?

Day 206

Weight: 52.7kg

Food Intake: (2741kcal In)

  • 1/2 of (112g NewHuel, BananaFD)
  • 1 slice hummingbird cake
  • 2 chicken thighs w a lot of stir fried beans
  • 1642kcal bp

Activity: (2220kcal out)

  • Cycling & 2.5h Acro Dance
  • 9196 steps total

Other Observations:

  • Feeling like quite the failure and my throat is also an absolute wreck :< why do I do dis. Already feeling quite defeated for today :confused:
  • Itā€™s crazy how that one bp has the ability to make me feel so unable to do ~life~ sigh but nO I CAN DO THIS I CAN ENJOY TODAY.
  • Just to ventā€”did Acro and loved it; but at some point in time one guy rudely said ā€œwow, are you heavier than ___?ā€ Wtf

Iā€™m really sad to read you broke your streak Chrisā€¦ Is it possible for you to try next week to not purge no matter how you feel, to try to cope with your emotions set off by the triggers & daily stress in a different way? Just for a week, & you can tell yourself that you can go back to b/p as a coping strategy (even tho itā€™s a shitty one thatā€™s wrecking your throat, health & life) but not until this week is over & youā€™ve given your throat chance to heal, & yourself some much needed insight into what you are going to do & how you are going to live without the b/p comfort blanket. This is tough, scary stuff & I am speaking very plainly to youā€¦ If you are able to access your psych for support right now then I really think you should. And keep enjoying the good things you have going on right nowā€¦ Like the kinda bf! :wink: Tell him to bring you flowers instead of cake :joy::joy: if that is a trigger for you?

You can beat this thing, itā€™s just monkey mind shit & itā€™s not going to have you. Donā€™t forget who you are & who you are becomingā€¦ Through our failures we are made perfectā€¦ Tempered like metal in the flames & made strongerā€¦ You are the blue heron :blue_heart:

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Day 207

Weight: 52.6kg

Food Intake: (~2109kcal in)

  • 1/2 Huel, Choc PB FD
  • 150g chicken
  • 163g carrots
  • 80g Huel Granola
  • Pepsi Max (bc I donā€™t like soft drinks but I canā€™t taste anything so Iā€™m getting rid of this like water & I can feel the carbonation on my tongue bc of the pH interaction lmao)
  • cspopcorn
  • Formal Dinnerā€“cheese, fish, pear tart, chocolate cake

Activity: (1692kcal out)

  • 7857 steps total

Other Observations:

  • My nose is blocked so I canā€™t taste anything YET IM STILL SO PECKISH ugh
  • Feeling kinda sick and lethargic

Just seen your update on the guy at acro!! Super rude, Iā€™m nearly twice your weight & he could f**k off saying that to me too! If you go to that class & see him again, try & work a swift kick in the nuts into your moves ā€˜by accidentā€™, that guy deserves it. :fist_right::fist_right::fist_right:

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Day 208

Weight: 52.0or6kg

Food Intake: (2642kcal in)

  • 1/2 of 112g NewHuel, ChocPBFD + 1 orange Huel bar
  • 2 percy pigs
  • 60g Huel granola
  • 1 tub halo top (320kcal, 20g protein)
  • 150g chicken & 78g carrots
  • 1/2 of 112g NewHuel, ToffeeFD
  • 1 small kfc chicken piece
  • 1033kcal bpā€”oatmeal, chicken curry rice

Activity: (1903kcal out)

  • 8411 steps total

Other Observations:

  • Converted 2 of my friends to Huel hehehehehehe my friend was like ā€œlol youā€™re basically a Huel ambassadorā€ ngl she ainā€™t wrongā€¦
  • Had another basically perfect day (40:30:30 macros!) aaaand then I had my friendā€™s KFC chicken piece and was triggered to bp SIGHHHHH I mean, Iā€™m proud of myself for going to sainsburys and not buying binge food, but I literally made frikin OATMEAL to bp on. Wtf.
  • I think Iā€™m gonna count the days I donā€™t b/p but not streak-wise. Everyday matters I guess. Gonna try to hit at least 10 by the end of November.

days b/p free since 31 Oct 2018: 2

@VenusFly Ugh some people are really just so rude! Oh well, brushing it off; I know Iā€™m making the effort to make myself better and thatā€™s all that matters :slight_smile: Although ofc not gaining a whole bunch of fat and being unable to be a flyer is definitely an incentive lmao. Another guy commented ā€œoh youā€™re light!ā€ so ehh I guess itā€™s relative. Still stings ngl but not very important in the grand scheme of things.

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Exactly, ainā€™t no way youā€™re heavy at the weight you are, the rude guy was just weak, in body & in character. I still think he needs a sly kickingā€¦ But Iā€™m an evil bish like that :joy::joy::joy::joy: bodyshamers, do not step to me!! Comments like that sting no matter what your actual weight is, & he was way out of order & talking complete bullā€‹:poop:!

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Day 209

Weight: 51.7kg !!! FINALLY !!! It really does help not planning my binges bc then it wonā€™t be thousands of calories ingested like the 6000 i was eating before lmao. Keep trying throughout the day!

Food Intake: (2999kcal in)

  • 1 Americano
  • 1/2 NewHuel, ToffeeFD
  • 150g chicken slices + 100g carrots
  • 1 Cadbury finger & a bite of Bakewell tart
  • 1 Huel Orange Bar + 60g Huel Granola
  • Formal Dinnerā€”soup, bread, fish pie, toffee apple cake
  • bpā€”2 ready meals, 1 small square fudge, 1 cashew thing, Nutella

Activity: (1885kcal out)

  • 8726 steps total

Other Observations:

  • Legit have nothing to binge onā€¦honestly makes my binges smaller which is probably a good (albeit frustrating) thing. Neighbours in the kitchen too so I couldnā€™t make oatmeal to binge on again. Nor Nutella mugcake. Couldā€™ve easily gone to sainsburys to get ice cream (in fact I was there but I only went to get chicken mostly) but I didnā€™t. Getting a tad better at not buying binge hauls.
  • Drinking & eating more Huel has definitely helped reduce urges for sweetsā€”walking around sainsburys i donā€™t really feel the desire to eat the cakes/cookies themselves, but more of the process and the ritual of the binge
  • Tbh my binges are now the most randomass things like whytf those random meals lmao.
  • I WILL NOT BP TOMORROW.

bp free (31/10): 2

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