📓 Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss


#104

Tomato and nooch!!


#105

Day 40

Weight: 57.2-57.4kg any reason why it could’ve dropped so quickly? I don’t think it’s real LOL it’s probably gonna go back to 58 which I’m fine with!! Since that’s my goal by the end of May. (@GTIPuG any ideas haha you’re good at the math xD)

Food Intake: (1583kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS
  • 150g smoked salmon
  • 60g scrambled eggs w ketchup
  • ~1/2 tub Halo Top ice cream
  • 103g smoked salmon
  • 183g scrambled eggs w ketchup

Exercise: cycle ~6km to Tesco :stuck_out_tongue:

Other Observations:

  • It seems like body CAN actually lose weight at 1500+kcal! Well that’s great. (Hahaha yeah I guess I don’t break physics, but part of me always worries either that I do, or that I’m overestimating my activity). ONE STEP AT A TIME. This slow and steady method probably won’t “run out” so quick.
  1. Eat 1350-1550kcal. Keep tracking weight until plateau for like 2 weeks.
  2. Re-calculate macros.
  3. Reverse diet.
  • 1.13pm: Lol OOOOOOOPS I’ve literally eaten 860kcal in 1/2h. Was q hungry ahaha. Am now a little over full and sleepy, but well.
  • Today has been a rather odd day eating-wise. Mostly protein (131g) aside from Huel; no veggies; calories on the higher end; finishing at 6.30pm since I have no more calories left; macro split of 22-33-45 LOL what even.
  • BUT it has been a very joyful day, and I just blew my cash on a shopping spree at the Tesco Superstore for the first time! What a way to celebrate my birthday I swear I get more excited at grocery stores than clothes shops :stuck_out_tongue:
  • I finally got smoked salmon AND halo top, which I’ve been craving for as long as I can remember. If the scale increases tomorrow imma just blame it on the sodium from the 250g of smoked salmon I consumed today :joy:
  • I’ve lowkey been checkin’ my reflection out every time I accidentally pass a reflectively surface—can it be that I actually look slimmer?? Or is it purely placebo?
  • I can now do 2 pull-ups! Kinda. Can’t wait to get lighter and do even more pull-ups hehe
  • 3am: hungry :frowning: was hungry since 12 haha but it’s kinda cool, now I don’t think I’m hungry therefore I HAVE TO EAT NOW.

#106

No ideas I’m afraid, but I’ve experienced the same phenomenon every few weeks! One big sudden drop.

Nothing to panic about, it can be a particularly big ‘movement’ (basically an emptier than normal digestive tract and bladder) or even just slight dehydration on a warm day.

If we take your last lower limit of 57.8 and today’s upper limit of 57.4, it’s only 400g. Most people have had burgers that weigh 400g, so definitely nothing to stress at or query too much.

Congrats on the loss nonetheless, you’re nailing it :muscle:t2:


#107

Day 41

Weight: 57.9kg yep as I’d expected it went back up, I think the 57.3 was fluke. Oh well I’m still maintaining around 58 which is my goal, so I just need to maintain this for the next week and not blow it during my birthday! :stuck_out_tongue:

Food Intake: (1594kcal)

  • 1/2 of (100g CoffeeHuel w 80ml melted halo top, 2g ChocFS)
  • 2 egg whites + 2 ham
  • 89g cinnamon apple cake
  • 1/8th carrot cake
  • 4 picked @ muffins
  • 60g NewHuel, MatchaFS
  • 4 ham
  • 3/4 45g Eiweissreigel Haselnuss
  • 150g King Prawns 93kcal and 21.2g protein!!! How I wish this were cheaper and didn’t straight up cost me 3 quid :’(

Other Observations:

  • I was so hungry I downed half of my Huel in 3 minutes…
  • Confession: I purged a bit. (2,1,3,4) I don’t quite know why, but I shoveled down 1000+kcal in 50min and I haven’t felt this uncomfortably full and guilty in a while. I also really didn’t want to gain weight. I need to get back to my regular routine.
  • I’ve been p peckish and bc I blew most of my calories in the morning, I’m gonna be pretty hungry later… I hope the cycle doesn’t continue and I’m ravenous tomorrow when I break my fast.
  • It’s good to get out of my room: it ain’t socially acceptable to binge in the middle of Waterstones! :stuck_out_tongue:
  • So the day didn’t start off optimally, but what’s important is that I kept trying. Sure my calories are a bit higher than I’d like, but I still managed to keep it under 1600kcal.
  • 12.22am: Relatively hungry but manageable.
  • I bought Huel bars for my birthday!!! :smiley: I’m so excited to try it out haha.

#108

It’s so hard to resist the purge/binge some days isn’t it.

Even with the feeling you’re left with afterwards, you always think “why, why did I do this” and think that you’ll remember the feeling next time you think of doing it again, but it doesn’t work does it.

Do you know why you’ve kicked yourself out of your normal routine…?

Also, don’t worry too much about your birthday next week. Have you got non-food related things to focus on doing to celebrate with??

Not exactly that same as you, but similar, when I was on drugs all the time, I physically couldn’t eat. So every time there was a family gathering, I always made excuses for not going as I was expected to eat. I hated even the thought of being near food and I ostracised myself pretty much from anyone and everyone when it came to events that contained food.
I tried to find ways of being with my family and friends that didn’t involve food, so I could escape the questions of why aren’t you eating…?

So have you got anything awesome planned that you’d be comfortable doing without feeling like you may over eat and feel the need to purge afterwards??


#109

@Luffers I can’t tell you how glad I am to have a supportive, understanding and non-judgmental person like you with me on our journey.

I suppose there are several reasons:

  1. The whole no-sugar thing. Very reminiscent to when I first started binge-purging on junk food, which was right after I came off a year of abstaining from sugar. I suppose I’m still transitioning from the week of 100% Huel and my misguided no-sugar, but thankfully it’s to a less disastrous level than before.
  2. My mental energy is devoted to my exams (which are in 10 days!!!) so I have little energy left to do the whole mind game of resisting urges.
  3. My birthday! HAHA. I like cake. LOL.

Unfortunately, as it’s exam season, it appears that food is the most non-fussed and time-efficient way to celebrate…and also a way it seems I’m pampering myself amidst the exam stress :confused: Non-food ways to celebrate are definitely things I would love to do though!

Sigh I just hope this doesn’t happen, the uncertainty of food choices still gets to me sometimes. (Especially since different friends may be bringing me out for meals or surprising me with food…lowkey just want to Huel for stability LOL)

Also, I don’t want to spam your thread (too much), but I’d like to say good job, it seems like you’re being very level-headed about your journey, taking constructive criticism and making good progress. :slight_smile:


#110

You’re most welcome, you will never find me being judgemental over any topic. I’ve learned the hard way that everybody is their own soul and can do whatever, whenever they wish and who am I to say otherwise… I’m glad I can be here for you on your journey and I will help in any way I can.

I can understand your 1st reason, sugar is a harder drug to give up than cocaine, and I’ve had rehab for cocaine addiction. They should offer a sugar addiction rehab! :see_no_evil::joy: I’m glad you didn’t fall too deeply into a bad remission of taking sugary snacks too far. It’s great that you can instantly realise what you’re doing and take somewhat steps to undo the damage.
With regards to your exams, I cannot even begin to imagine how stressful this time must be for you, but I do know the mental energy it takes to stay on track, especially when you’re depleted of all forms of energy. Try and stay strong and focused. Also GOOD LUCK :tada::kissing_heart::tada:
Lastly, birthday cake is the BEST! My eldest son turned 17 yesterday and he DID NOT want a cake… I was like :sob::sob::sob: but kind of thankful that I didn’t have to resist eating a slice. I’m awful at baking bakes, but I 100% nail it when it comes to red velvet cakes, I’m the BOMB at making that one!! :birthday:
Are you going to bake a cake, get given one or will you buy? I ask because if the latter, why not buy just a slice and then you’ll not have to worry about the other slices?? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

It is such a shame that this does seem to be the default way to celebrate anything? Do you have anywhere locally that is easy on the calories? Or something you could maybe forgo your usual shakes of Huel for in the day and JUST have a meal out that day? So you stay within calorie target?

If I lived close by, I would definitely meet up with you to celebrate either with a Huel shake or a day out doing something fun without food being an issue.
May I ask, do your friends know about your previous eating disorder and your struggle with binge/purging? I only ask, as I wonder if they’re aware of the issues you have, with socialising with food as the main focus?

If I was your friend, I would so gift you with more Huel!!!
I couldn’t think of a better gift tbf :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::heart_eyes::joy:

Also, spam away on my thread, I enjoy reading your responses!
I hope I am being level headed enough… and I stay focused and keep bringing myself closer towards a better daily target and keep to it.

But I’m also a realist and I know full well that days good and bad are ahead of me, I won’t guilt myself on the bad days and I will definitely reward myself with every good day I complete. :raised_hands:t2:

Good luck with your exams again, study hard, :crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2::crossed_fingers:t2: but don’t forget to look after yourself completely :facepunch:t2:

I’m always here for a chat…


#111

Ooh! I bake too :slight_smile: (or at least I used to, my dorm doesn’t have a kitchen now – probably better for my waistline :stuck_out_tongue: ) You mention you bake bread at your job? Do you bake other pastries too? Happy birthday to your son btw! :slight_smile:

HAHAHA omg you get me!! I would totally take you up on this :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Huel & flavour boosts would be the best birthday present ever. I’m actually buying Huel bars for myself to celebrate my birthday I can’t tell if that’s sad or

Nah most of them don’t know, and I’m keen to keep it that way – I’d rather people not start noticing my eating habits because that’d make me more stressed out haha. It’s also not as salient as before thankfully :slight_smile: (I used to legitimately panic and breakdown and/or cry whilst in the middle of meals it was actually miserable.)

All the best to you too and thank youuuuu <3


#112

Day 42 (No Huel)

Weight: 57.5kg managed to maintain after somewhat binging in the morning! Yes, you CAN turn things around at any point in the day.

Food Intake: (no idea how many kcal tbh, ~1980kcal)

  • Lunch—Carrots w ketchup, ratatouille
  • Idek Sweets—banana date cake w maple syrup, 30g cinnamon apple cake, picked at 2 muffins
  • 1 Nutella B-Ready THIS WAS GOOOOOD yum yum
  • 2 slices ham
  • 1 sip Huel
  • Dinner @ Turkish Restaurant—pita, hummus, a lot of grilled meats, some rice, liver

Other Observations:

  • Ngl I’m a bit thrown off kilter. I’m somewhat mentally preparing for my birthday and cake and unpredictable situations, but did not prepare myself for today. SO many unpredictable food situations…
  1. Last day of lectures, so went out for lunch with friends. Didn’t go to where I was expecting.
  2. Supppsed studying in the library. Can’t eat snacks there.
  3. But my Brother appeared out of nowhere from London to celebrate my birthday a day early!! :smile:
  4. He brought me bread he made and brownies.
  5. I’d JUST agreed to go to dinner with a friend at church so had to mentally prep for that.
  6. But my brother showed up and apparently he made reservations for a restaurant for dinner.
  7. At church later, they may get me cake(?) irdk
  • So yeah I’ve just got to take it in stride. I can do this. I’ll accept that today and tomorrow, my macros are going to be carb and fat heavy and it’s okay. I’m probably not gonna drink Huel to not have additional calories since I don’t have thaaat much wiggle room.
  • I’ll stick to 12-8pm IF and water no matter what. :slight_smile: And trying not to go to bed full bc I hate the feeling.
  • I’ll accept that I’ll probably gain some weight these 2 days, but if I keep trying to do my best and not take it as a free for all cheat day (which would take longer to get my weight down again), and bounce right back to consistency and more balanced days after, it’ll all be all right.
  • ALSO I GOT A FITBITTTTTT WAHOO
  • Soooooo day-in Review: Had a huuuuuge dinner that was very yummy. Was uncomfortably stuffed and purged a bit :confused: Went to church and they did get me cake!! That I’ll eat tomorrow hehe.

I feel like today was my birthday LOOOL has been a happy day indeed:

  1. Last lecture!
  2. Lunch with my friends
  3. Brother surprised me from London
  4. Got my Huel bars in the mail
  5. Got my Fitbit in the mail!
  6. Brother gave me home baked bread and brownies :bread: hahaha
  7. Church group gave me a chocolate cake! :cake:
  8. My Friend legit gave me a whole huge salmon bc it’s my favourite food ever :joy: + a card…so sweet!
  9. I got a rice cooker!

Ahhh I feel so blessed. I’m saving the card, my dad’s card, and Huel Bar for tomorrow :stuck_out_tongue:


#113

Day 43

ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!! :tada::tada::tada: Very happy and I slept so well hehhe. But in an odd sense, I’m somewhat looking forward to it being over to resume the normalcy and routine of life :stuck_out_tongue:

Weight: 57.7kg it sucks bc I KNOW that if I didn’t purge, I would’ve gained more for sure.

Food Intake: (at least 2200-2500kcal)

  • Lunch 1—Mixed veggies w sesame sauce & nooch, 2 egg whites
  • Sweets 1—Date :cake:, cs cream puffs, cs Gab’s bread
  • Lunch 2—Golden House Takeaway: Prawns, chicken, sweet sour chicken, tofu, some rice, 3 keropok
  • Sweets 2—Apple crumble cake pie :pie:
  • Sweets 3—1 Krispy Kreme Speculoos Donut
  • Sweets 4—eat & cs Subway choc chip cookie (I know I said I wasn’t touching cookies til 31/5 and I’m still not…but I’m not gonna count my bday :stuck_out_tongue:), 11g gluten free chocolate bite, cs Gab’s bread, pick & cs 2 muffins
  • 80g ham
  • Sweets 5—50g date cake + some chocolate cake

Other observations/thoughts:

  • 9.30pm: I don’t quite know what to say tbh. Very mixed feelings. On one hand, I’m elated: it has been the best birthday I’ve had since my 16th birthday in maybe all my life. I feel so loved and so blessed by multiple people in my life, almost overwhelmed by love.
  • A little run-down of my day: So I woke up, did about 10 minutes of work --> Ate food --> Ate sweets --> Friend came by --> Coursemates surprised me with a picnic & crumble & cake --> …purged --> Supervision --> Went around collecting Birthday Freebies :stuck_out_tongue: (did you know you get a free donut & free cookie on your birthday?) --> Came back, ate a shit ton of sweets --> was gonna purge but my College friends surprised me with cake and gifts! --> tried to purge but failed sighs. --> and here we are!
  • So it’s been an amazing day. Food-wise and mentally, it’s trying. I knew this since last week, so it’s not like I wasn’t prepared to be (very) challenged. Here’s the necessary troubleshooting haha.
  • ED: I could feel ED thoughts seeping in, although I definitely handled this better than 2 years ago. I’m actually quite proud of myself. SO many unplanned food situations, SO much cake (I literally have 5 cakes in my fridge right now…what do I do with all of it?!), didn’t drink Huel for the first time in 41 days, couldn’t accurately track my calories… I had thoughts of “why not just eat EVERYTHING and start anew tomorrow?” but no. NO. That makes zero sense. Although to be fair I’ve eaten so many sweets that all I crave is proper nutrition, which I’m gonna try to capitalise on.
  • BUT regardless, I still kept my eating window between 12-8pm! :smiley: SCOREEEE

Troubleshooting:

  • Purging: I know purging is bad for my body. It makes me weak. It makes me feel shaky and exhausted. It takes time. It makes my throat sore asfck and super dehydrated. It’s much easier and better to just eat a balanced diet, which is what I’m determined to do. I’m so done with erratic weight loss and gain and the whole mind battle of ED. Yes, I’ve slipped and purged for the last 3 days, but no more.
  • Gaining Weight: Ngl I’m TERRIFIED I’ll gain all the weight I’ve lost back tomorrow morning. I’m preparing myself to see a number until 59kg, hopefully not more. It’s water weight; if I’m consistent it’ll come down again as it has before when it shot up to 59.8kg.
  • Sweets: I think I’ve eaten enough sugar to last a week or so. It’s reminded me that eating so much sugar kinda just makes me feel like trash. But ngl I loved the taste. I still have a LOT, and I mean a LOT of sweets left. I literally had say 5 cakes in the fridge?!
  1. Sticky toffee pudding
  2. Tesco Carrot Cake
  3. Tesco Cinnamon Apple Cake
  4. CoOp Belgian Chocolate Cake
  5. 1 slice Cinnamon Apple Cake
  6. Brother’s Brownie
  7. Lemon Tart Pie I gave these to my porters instead, I have way too much food!!!
  • Tracking: One of my fears is/was that just as how I’d fallen off the low carb wagon after a year on it, because of my birthday 2014, I’d do the same this time. Like the “freedom” of not being able to track precisely how many calories. But nah I have a goal of losing fat, and I need to be able to do the math to get there slowly and surely. Today, the math says I’m going to gain, but if I consistently eat a deficit following this, it’s no problem getting back on track.
  • Tomorrow: I’m going to set some goals for myself to ease myself back into routine I know I feel best in. I’m also going to capitalise on my overload of sugar to not (really) eat sugar tomorrow unless I really want it.
  1. Huel for lunch!
  2. IF 12-8
  3. Drink water before & during meal
  4. 1350-1550kcal

For what it’s worth, I had a splendid birthday. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time and sharing food with different groups of friends. I enjoyed getting my birthday freebies and eating my lotus biscuit donut :doughnut: which I’ve been eyeing since Tesco. I’ve enjoyed not doing the usual process of weighing pros and cons and going based on whims. I’ve enjoyed massive amounts of cs which I just find very therapeutic in such a stressful period oops. I know I’ve been stressed out by the unpredictability, but I’m so blessed to have friends and family who continually surprise me to make my day. :slight_smile:


#114

Happy Birthday!! :balloon::balloon::balloon:

Looking forward to hearing how much birthday cake you get through :smiley:


#115

:tada::tada::tada::gift::gift::gift::tada::tada::tada:

Massive congratulations and yay for having a super good sleep!

Sorry I’ve not responded properly to our last conversation, I will do so when I have some spare minutes :kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

Enjoy your day! Don’t worry to much over the purge, but yay for not gaining! *little wins are still wins!

And most importantly, enjoy your birthday cake! (If you have some :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)


#116

Day 44

Weight: 57.7kg (57.6-9kg but mostly 57.7) weeeeeeell turns out I DIDNT gain much. Hooray for still being under 58!!!

Food Intake: (1516kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS, 1g instant coffee
  • 2 egg whites + 2/3rd egg yolk + 3g nooch, 5 cherry tomatoes
  • Snacks—1 nectarine, 2 plums, 1 bag pop chips (72kcal), 1 Huel Bar
  • Dinner—150g salmon w soy sauce, broccoli w oyster sauce & sesame sauce, 1.5 brioche

Huel Review: I really liked the bar!!! It wasn’t sweet and had a nice texture with some crunch.

Other Observations:

  • I know I’m attributing my not really gaining weight partly to purging. (I mean logically the math works out). BUT I’m just going to be thankful I don’t feeel inclined to compensate, and get back into routine as usual. No, not gaining weight is not a free pass to eat sweets all day everyday.
  • Boy am I glad to get back to eating my beloved Huel! Days with Huel > Days without Huel LOL.
  • #RecoveryWin: Looking back to my lack of knowledge & experience with fuelling my body… I’m actually so proud of how I’m approaching food now. Or starting to. I used to eat McDonalds’ ice cream cones for lunch (no joke) when I was heavily restricting, because “it has 150kcal – I might as well eat something I enjoy for the same calories as say a banana”. Younger me would’ve filled up my 1500kcal with junk at any chance I got, justifying it with ‘CICO’. Yes, that logic makes sense, but only if weight were the only thing that mattered in the world. It used to, but now it’s so much more than just that: how I feel, my mental health, sugar crashes, stability, feeling nourished, being energised, taking care of myself…So yes, calories matter, but not all calories were created equal. Calories simply constitute macros and micros, which matter for your body’s general well-being. :slight_smile: Perhaps I didn’t gain because CICO, with the junk food sugar-saturated yesterday. I did enjoy the taste of sweets too. But am I going to keep continuing that pattern of eating? No, because it doesn’t make me feel like my optimum self, and it doesn’t make me feel like I’m taking care of myself. :smiley:
  • Let’s hope I don’t gain tomorrow, but even if I do, I’ll just stick to my consistency plan.
  • 11.54pm: I feel so faaaaaat/bloated/gassy I could’ve sworn today’s nutrients were spot on!
  • Fitbit: I am LOVING my Fitbit so far! I don’t quite know how to use it fully yet, and honestly just got it to track my steps. But it vibrates to remind me to take at least 250 steps in an hour of being sedentary (especially important during exam term). And it’s giving me the positive reinforcement I need to take the stairs, go out of my way to walk, to pace around, to dance, and go to Ultimate frisbee tomorrow. I’m setting my daily step goals to 5000 first since I easily go weeks with like 4000 or less steps.
  • I don’t get noticeably fatigued like I did on 100% Huel. Can’t quite figure out why.

#117

Which Fitbit did you get? I have the Charge 2 (I upgraded from the basic Fitbit 18 months ago) and sadly pretty much wear it everyday and night!


#118

Day 45

Weight: 57.5-57.7kg can it be that I didn’t really gain from my birthday??

Food Intake: (1499kcal)

  • 600ml of 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS lel I’m just trying to get rid of my coffee Huel HAHA
  • Snacks—1 nectarine, 2 plums, 2 salted egg potato chips, 38g Huel granola
  • Dinner—214g chicken (raw weight) + 19g BBQ sauce, 130g peas & leeks, 10g vegetarian sausage, cs bun, 6 8g sweet potato :fries:

Exercise: 1.5h Ultimate Frisbee (14,575 steps altogether! Rare for me.) + ~1h workout (weights & HIIT & sparring) + some cycling to Fitz

Other Observations:

  • Many people have asked me about Huel irl (totally not because I wear my Huel shirt everywhere, even right now, and display my bags and bags of Huel in my room xD). I’m actually surprised at the people who know about it — they’re like it’s all over Facebook & the marketing is A++. Well deserved exposure imo!
  • Did so much more exercise than usual hehe. 2 days on track after birthday! :smiley:

@ElectroDan I have a Charge 2 as well! :smiley:


#119

Honestly, you’re never going to gain from one day! You need to escape this mindset of paranoia.

To add some context, my cut has now dropped me to 79KG at around 12% bodyfat.

I could fret about gaining before my holiday, but instead I binged on a PHAT Papa John’s XXL All The Meats!! Was it delicious? YES. Was it unhealthy? YES. Do I regret it? NO!!

I’ll probably weigh in at 81.2KG tomorrow, but I can assure you my BF% will not have changed - I’ll just have a digested 16 inch pizza in my digestive tract and a tonne of water retained from the salt.

The only question that matters is whether you enjoyed your birthday :slight_smile:


#120

Day 46

Weight: 57.3kg lowkey excited to see where this actually healthy and sustainable weight loss journey takes me!

Food Intake: (1858kcal) ooooooooooooops I had today perfectly planned but really wanted chocolate oops.

  • 112g NewHuel
  • 150ml CoffeeHuel w ChocFS im starting not to taste the bitter aftertaste I once did! It’s tasting like a nice mocha shake now :slight_smile:
  • Sweets—76g Cinnamon Apple Cake, cs & eat chocolate cake, cs & eat custard donut, cs bro’s loaf of bread
  • Snacks—6 slices wafer thin Sainsbury’s chicken breast ham (72kcal, 15g), 2 plums
  • Dinner—broccoli & nooch, 143g chicken breast & BBQ sauce, peel & cs brioche
  • Sweets—cs & eat some brownie, 8 butterfinger cups

Other Observations:

  • Fitbit: I KNEW that mentally, seeing the “calories burned” would mess me up at least a bit and trigger my obsession with numbers. It said that on the other days I burned 1600-1700kcal. Theoretically, that means I should eat 1200kcal to lose 0.5kg, but I’ve been eating around 1500kcal and still losing at a similar, if not faster pace. So it could be one of, or a combination of the following:
  1. Fitbit calories aren’t accurate
  2. I have more muscle mass than my Fitbit thinks (I also inputted a randomass BF%)
  3. I’m more active on other days and it balances out (e.g. yesterday it says I burned 2500, but that’s a rarity)
  • Regardless, I don’t WANT to the data to a T that changes from day to day. I like what I’m doing, and don’t want my Fitbit to be another source of stress. I’ve calculated my rough TDEE to be 1900, and am more than happy with my plan of “1350-1550, move more.” If it works for me, why change it?
  • Although, it definitely shows me that if I just get more steps in and exercise regularly, I can definitely eat more and still lose weight hehe
  • Looking back: 2016. 2017. The year, or at least 6 months, wherein I exercised regularly. Woke up to workout at 6.30 with my friends 5 days a week. T25, Max30, BBG. I remember being so frustrated, just KNOWING that with the amount of hard work I was putting in to workout, I’d easily lose weight and transform myself if I were just able to cut calories without spiraling into ED. I tried, and I spiraled into further into ED (that’s when I started purging lol). But now…I’m starting to realise that I’m nearly there. It’s been a long ride, and that period of time has been useful in instilling in myself that exercise is NOT punishment. Exercise isn’t to compensate or to burn calories. Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do :slight_smile: I’m not going to “count” exercise calories explicitly or “eat back”, because I value consistency more over daily fluctuations. I’m also a lazy piece of shit LOL I’m probably going to workout more over the summer (Krav Maga and dance!!)
  • I looked at myself in the mirror today and I’m starting to like what I see! (key word: starting HAHA)
  • Sooooooo today was kind of a flop. Overate by about 300kcal and could’ve easily eaten 200 more. BUT I didn’t. I still did my 8h IF and drank water. I tried to eat protein and veggies etc. I had Huel for lunch. I might gain tomorrow but it’s fine, I’ll just have to be a bit more cautious with all that cake (oops). The calories are insane.
  • I suppose a reason why my diet hasn’t been A+ is because I’m tired and stressed out with work, so I don’t exactly have the most energy to focus it on keeping my diet as priority. It could also be a bit because of the Fitbit calorie thing. I’m still going to try my best, don’t get me wrong.
  • 1.22am: Going to sleep on a full stomach ughhhhh why don’t I remember that I hate this feeling??!
  • Calories: I’ve come a long way to be less triggered from numbers. It’s always been quite a source of stress I suppose, but I’m getting better at treating it as objective data. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t still throw me a little off balance, but I won’t let it throw me off TRACK. I’ll acknowledge the phenomenon and do something about it. Fun ED Insight: When I first started ED treatment at the hospital and we had to buy food from the food canteen, I saw the calorie counts and literally broke down in tears in the middle of the food court, the person supervising me had to calm me down lmao :’)

@GTIPuG thanks for the reminder, I’m trying :slight_smile: I guess I’m just so used to my weight fluctuating erratically since I was always stuck between extremes. I’d be so used to gaining say 1kg the next day and it staying…although I know it’s because a gain of 1kg would’ve simply made me give up and go on a full on binge for weeks…which obviously made me keep gaining.
HAHA glad you enjoyed that Phat Papa XXL! :stuck_out_tongue: Why the very precise ‘81.2kg’? LOL (and were you correct?)
And yeah, I really did enjoy my birthday :’)


#121

I do bake everything, all kinds of patisseries, cookies and breads. It’s killer… the smells are amazing!!

I’m gonna buy bars soon too, I really want the granola, especially after reading your thread about them! I wanna have some crunchy shakes to eat!

I get that, I didn’t tell anyone about myself for ages, but I do now tell everyone if the need arises. Not that I need to have the conversation about NOT taking drugs comes up very often!

I hope you had an awesome birthday?

I’m actually jealous you have a Fitbit, When I got my Apple Watch and sold my Fitbit blaze.
Now, I love the Apple Watch functions, but I seriously miss the Fitbit layout and the sleep tracker. Apple haven’t got anything yet that even comes close to the sleep tracker… I’m actually considering getting another Fitbit just for sleep!!!
How are you finding it? Aside from the “calories burned” issue?


#122

Haha cheers :grin: I guess I just know the expectation after an enormous binge by now. Know your body etc etc. Can normally predict weight before I even get on the scale these days! I came in a tenth of a kilo short at 81.1kg, wish I’d taken a photo!


#123

Hey - a belated Happy Birthday from your friend in the North!

Couplafings…

  1. I do IF from 8pm to 12 noon. It works for me because a) I’ve heard consistently over the years that it’s good for the body to have finished eating for the day by 8pm, and b) it stops you going to bed full (apart from the occasional extreme early night, bed at 8.15pm type of scenario). It MAY also help to see the clock strike 8pm and know you can effectively stop thinking about food until noon the next day. I’ve not experienced ED, but I am familiar with the occasional binge day, and on those days, there’s an actual relief when 8pm passes and I know food is over for the day. Plus, of course, it means I’m asleep for quite a lot of the IF period :smiley:

  2. Two things I find are good to take the edge off hunger pangs are black coffee and green tea. I rarely use the coffee option as I’m super-sensitive to caffeine, but green tea works pretty well (and is full of all sorts of good things like anti-oxidants (I think…?)

I don’t have a Fitbit but I do use the Pacer app on my iPhone. They did an upgrade recently that told me my average day since September 2013, when I first got it, is 9,406 steps. And what I was really proud to see was the new Benchmark section, which told me I’m more active than 93.7% of all users! :man_dancing:

All the best with your exams - it’s a stressful period of much work and brain-ache but, in the greater scheme of things, it’s over in a flash.