📓 Daily Journal: Intermittent Fasting (16:8), ED Recovery and Weight Loss


#124

Day 47

Weight: 57.7kg a lil annoying that I’m not losing weight at the pace I was, BUT I DID schedule in buffer weeks for this very reason: so I can enjoy my birthday, and so I can deal with exam stress instead of losing weight stress. 4 days way before I can say I met my 58kg goal by 31/5!

Food Intake: (1390kcal)

  • 112g NewHuel, 3g MatchaFS
  • Idk—37g cinnamon apple cake, peel & cs 4 hot cross buns
  • Snacks—8 slices chicken breast ham, cs 2 sausages 1.5 patties
  • Dinner—150g salmon, 150g butternut squash noodles w 2T sesame sauce, 5 cherry tomatoes, 45g peas, 35g leeks, 75g broccoli

Exercise: 1h of chill frisbee, 10,355 steps today! :smiley:

Other Observations:

  • After working out with the guys and my Friend, I reaaaaally wanna get back into working out regularly and gymming! I forgot how much fun it was to workout with friends :’)
  • 1.47pm: Crap I am so stuffed. Went on a near binge bc exam stress. Sighs can’t wait til I can crack down on myself and be more disciplined again farking examsssssss ugh :frowning:
  • After getting my Fitbit, I’m starting to look at exercise as taking a break: walking around, playing frisbee, dancing, walking to the store etc.
  • I’ve just had a thought; I can’t wait til I get back home where I have a freezer and a blender—going to make a smoothie with: 80g Huel + 18g Strawberry Whey + 50g Frozen Berries + 50g Frozen Banana + ice. (451kcal, 45C 11F 39P)
  • Looking back, I cant believe the “frappes” I used to make to lose weight LOL—ice, water, cocoa powder, stevia, xanthan gum…dayum. (Though ngl it tastes strangely palatable for minimal calories haha) But now. I’m prioritising putting some quality NUTRIENTS into my body :slight_smile:
  • I’m also probably going to be experimenting with baking with Huel because why not make my own Huel bars if I can? I’ll provably keep y’all posted if you’d like (we’ll see in a months’ time HAHA I’m getting ahead of myself.)
  • I’m already envisioning how I’m going to be using for travelling, changing timezones, going camping with friends, etc etc. Have you guys ever made Huel on an airplane??? Straight up bring the powder and ask them to fill your shaker with cold water or something…? :joy:
  • 1.47am: I’m still feeling full/fat wtf the last bite I had was at 7.47pm aka 6h ago… ugh pls don’t gain tmr I know it’s not logical but :frowning: perhaps I counted calories wrongly :frowning:

#125

@Luffers (don’t worry about replying haha no stress)

Yay for Huel granola! It’ll make you really thirsty though be warned! And also don’t expect regular granola or you’d be disappointed haha. It’s like Layenberger’s protein granola if you’ve ever had it xD

If you want a cheaper option, you can download the app “sleep cycle”, on your phone! I use it and it’s great :slight_smile: Even tracks your snoring, too! :joy:

I love my Fitbit so far! Makes me wanna move more haha. There’s just something so gratifying about seeing the number of steps you’ve taken…or NOT taken. (And to also realise I’m not getting nearly enough steps!)
Since you’ve had both, how would you say the Apple Watch compares?

@Lighteater

I’m doing this too! And yeah, it really does help stop a binge! Like okay so I’ve binged/overeaten…but I can still stick to my 8h of IF since I’ve gone the last 2 months without eating at that time so it’s routine!

Thank you! :slight_smile:


#126

Day 48

Weight: 57.7kg lel it’s just been stagnating here hahaha oops I actually hit 58kg on May 16th…

Food Intake: (1427kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS
  • peel & cs 2 hot cross buns
  • Snacks—1 packet seaweed, 1 Nutella B-Ready, 4 slices chicken, 1/2 apple stroopwafel
  • Dinner—143g chicken, 150g butternut squash & sptt w 1T sesame sauce & nooch, 16g sptt fries, 5 cherry tomatoes
  • 7 mini butterfinger cups (176kcal)

Exercise: 2h hip-hop (which literally contributed to ~7-8000 steps haha)
Steps: 13,359

Other Observations:

  • I had a nightmare…where someone sold me konjac rice and I happily chowed down before realising it was normal rice. Aaaaand started hyperventilating and crying. Evidently I still have unresolved issues :confused:
  • ED: I kinda remember why it was always better to be trying to lose weight—that’s the thing that dominates my mind, my thoughts, planning…it feels way better to stress about or be preoccupied with losing weight than to stress about my exams or whatever family drama happens at home ahaha.
  • Losing Weight: That being said, I won’t intentionally try to lose weight til 6 June. Not a license to binge, but more like not intentionally cutting calories and being harsh on myself and being disappointed if the scale doesn’t drop. I’ll do my best to maintain my weight and lose some if possible though.
  • Things I Can Do if it remains stagnated:
  1. 1350-1550kcal more strictly
  2. Reduce cs
  3. 100% Huel for a coupla days
  4. Cut to 1450kcal
  5. Ramp up exercise (more dance & frisbee; incorporate daily workouts; start to gym)
  6. Increase steps (10,000)
  7. Reverse Diet
  • I’m a little bit more flexible now (without being ill-disciplined, I hope) – I broke my fast at 12.09 but stopped eating at 8.50pm, which was an 8h 40min window. I’m definitely striving for 8h, but well it’s not like I’m not going to go to my 7-8pm dance class because I need to eat dinner before 8 lol.
  • LOOOL so I finished eating my dinner and it was around 1260kcal??? I was like oops how did that happen (I didn’t eat Huel Granola & my brioche buns & cake) so I decided to end the day eating some butterfinger cups!! yum yum all about moderation and the 80/20 lyf :stuck_out_tongue:
  • Also, I got the “Regular” Huel badge today! :smiley: HAHAHA ooooooops this probably shows how much damn time I spend on this site :stuck_out_tongue:
  • 12.22am: I don’t know why I’ve still been feeling SO FULL at this time for the last 3 days…usually I start feeling a bit more empty. It COULD be bloating, but I’m 14-15 days away from my next period so I doubt it. Sigh I’m not really eating/exercising any different?

#127

I think, when I looked into it, the calories burned reading on the Fitbit over-estimates (10%?) what you are actually burning, which is a shame cos if it were accurate I could eat more!


#128

Day 49

Weight: 57.6kg I wanna get this down or I actually have to lose 0.5kg a week with no buffer if I want to hit 55kg by mid July…which would be difficult because I will be travelling between 4 countries which always messes me up a little

Food Intake: (1537kcal)

  • 112g NewHuel, MatchaFS
  • 28g carrot cake + 16g cinnamon apple cake cake is so not worth the calories omg it was such a small portion and already ~200kcal I’d be better off eating PB cups (lol I compare all sweets to my 26kcal butterfinger cups now haha)
  • cs rest of the cake, ~1/3rd I really had to get rid of the cake I’ve already given it to so many friends lol. Was just stressing me out still having it there a week later LOL.
  • Snacks—1 packet seaweed, 10 chicken breast slices, 6 butterfinger cups
  • Dinner—143g chicken, 150g Boodles w 2T sesame sauce, nooch, veggie packet, 5 cherry tomatoes
  • 5 strawberries

Other Observations:

  • I didn’t feel my usual slightly rumbly hunger last night at 2am or this morning at 11am??? (slight rumbles at 12)

#129

Day 50 whoa it’s already Day 50? That’s some time :stuck_out_tongue: Onto the next 50! LOL

Weight: 57.7kg welp

Food Intake: (1543kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS
  • 2 chocolate chip brioche
  • 1 Americano get dat study on
  • Snacks – 1 packet BBQ pop chips, 3 chewing gum, 10 chicken slices
  • Dinner – 1 cajun chicken, butternut squash & nooch, zucchini noodles w sesame sauce, 4 cherry tomatoes
  • Dessert—7 butterfinger cups

Other Observations:

  • 11.45am: 1st hunger rumble
  • For future reference http://physiqonomics.com/fat-loss/
  • Soooo I realised that my timeline of losing weight is stressing me out a tad, because it’ll have to be regular weight loss of 0.5kg a week amidst a LOT of changes over the next 4 weeks. (Exam period, end of exam, party weeks, friends cramming in meals together, belated birthday celebrations, travelling, going to Germany, staying with my brother, going to London with a Friend, going back home in Asia, going to Hong Kong, going to China, going back home…) I’ll try my best of course, but I can’t beat myself up (too much) for the many instabilities and lack of regular routine. My weight goals are to keep me looking towards the long term & the sustainability of my actions. Even if I can’t make the first goal, I’ll still try my best to hit the second revision of the weight timeline. It’s all part of being adaptable with the changing circumstances, yet still being accountable. So my weight goals—
  1. 58kg (by 31/5)
  2. 55kg (by mid-July) ((or 5/8 with more buffer for adjustment))
  3. 52kg (by 31/8) ((or 30/9))
  • In my exam-riddled brain, I’m now wondering: what would happen if I ate nothing but Nutella for a day? Like 1350kcal of it. 255g. LOLLLLL I’m lowkey keen to experiment after exams just for kicks haha.

#130

You sure love them butterfingers lol :grin:


#131

That’s absolutely ace, can’t wait to show my mum!


#132

Day 51

Weight: 57.9kg phewwwwwww I nearly overshot my end of May goal omg. Would NOT have been a good start to exams.

Food Intake: (~1559kcal, maybe a bit more)

  • 10 strawberries :strawberry:
  • 112g NewHuel (minus 150ml), 3g MatchaFS
  • Sweets—1 chocolate brioche & cs, cs muffins, 40g chocolate from cookie
  • Snacks—100g blueberries, coffee, 2 biscuit sticks, 1 packet seaweed, 3 chewing gum
  • Dinner—7 wafer thin chicken slices, 1/2 Cajun chicken, 150g zoodles w 1T sesame sauce & nooch, 55g salmon, some salad (washed it bc it had sauce on it)
  • Idk—cs 1 burger bun, cs 6 Nutella crepes

Other Observations:

  • Made it to 31st May without eating cookies…so I promptly ate the chocolate chips from 2 cookies hehe. Gimme a break it’s exams and I’m stressed :stuck_out_tongue:
  • I have a (not so revolutionary) theory: When we’re stressed and our mental energy is so sapped we’re unable to summon motivation or discipline, that’s when the habits you’ve cultivated really comes into play.
  • My habits at this point in time (that feel effortless and don’t require much mental energy, both good and bad):
  1. IFing 12-8
  2. Drinking water
  3. Eating Huel once a day, usually for lunch
  4. Snacks—Fruits, chicken slices, Huel Granola, chewing gum
  5. P healthy dinners—broccoli, chicken, nooch, cherry tomatoes
  6. 36-45 push-ups, pull-ups, occasionally dumbbell swings
  7. Tracking food intake & weight on MFP
  8. Not so good habits—Peeling brioche, butterfinger cups, wanting something sweet after a meal, picking :chocolate_bar:, cs, feeling that relative inability to stop and having to consciously break myself away from food.
  • I didn’t snack enough during the day so I was ravenous when I got down to dinner and stuffed myself way too quickly.
  • I know I’m putting on fat fml.

#133

Day 52

Weight: 57.5kg trend: during periods of stress, my weight tends to fluctuate erratically/spike, due to my eating habits and stuff ofc

Food Intake: (~2796-3000kcal)

  • Huel Matcha 150ml + 60g CoffeeHuel, 2g ChocFS
  • Snacks—14 wafer thin chicken slices, 250g strawberries
  • Binge—11 butterfinger cups + cs 6 bread rolls + eat & cs 2 sticky toffee puddings
  • Formal Dinner—Bread w butter, Goujons, Beef w carrots, Cheesecake, cheese w 4 crackers & 5 grapes

Other Observations:

  • I’m oscillating between giving a too much shits about studying, and not giving enough :cold_sweat:
  • Well that was a TRAGIC day…one of the worst I’ve had thus far. It was also the first time I didn’t have a 8h IF, it was 10.5h AND I overate by like 1000+kcal. I need to know how to get back on track… I’m so close to giving up I can’t do this.
  • I feel like I’ve failed and at this point in time I’d usually give up and go on a 2 week long binge…or fast tomorrow since “if I’d eaten 2 days worth of calories today I should fast tomorrow”
  • So I am lowkey VERY STRESSED OUT ABOUT FOOD. As I mentioned, it’s exam season and I have little capacity to circumvent negative thoughts…or overeating sometimes. I also scheduled in all the eating-socialising I have in the next 2 weeks and it’s basically EVERYDAY. I’m freaking out. I need a plan, because if I go in with a mindset that it’s for naught, I’m going to end up binging on 3000+kcal everyday and purging. I’m scared, because I ate at a Formal today with a Friend and really did try my best to mentally prep myself yet it still went pretty badly foodwise and I ended up purging a bit…but I don’t want to miss out on the end of year end of exams celebrations with friends because of food. I need a way to eat out yet be able to stick to my goals :confused: I think when I feel like I’ve already failed, I’m more likely to throw in the towel before I begin trying.
  • Also I’ve looked back at the last month or so since I’ve started trying to lose weight, and realised that since I’ve started tracking calories and trying to stick between 1350 af 1550kcal…every time I’ve gone out to eat has resulted in me purging. This cannot be good, and is definitely on shaky disorder ground. I need to be able to eat when outside and still regulate my diet!
  • Goals:
  1. Socialise and not miss out on dates with boy-o because food.
  2. Not gain weight back to 59+
  3. Be in control—to have rules
  4. Not to binge nor purge & all the mental distress
  5. To still have my long term weight loss plan in mind and not throw in the towel (you only fail when you give up!)
  6. What I need: Consistency and direction
  • So I guess some things I can try to do:
  1. Try to be more active. Dance, walks, frisbee, HIIT/gym w friends. Still do my push-ups & pull-ups.
  2. Still track my weight. For accountability. (And the negative feedback mechanism) I won’t try to lose weight for the next 2 weeks, but will try to stay around 58kg.
  3. Drink Huel for meals when I can.
  4. Not compensate the next day. Focus on making every day as good as I can.
  5. Focus on what makes me actually feel good: I hate feeling stuffed. I hate going to bed full. I hate wasting my calories on bad food. So look out for if it’s worth it, and only eating til I’m satiated.
  6. Accept that the days are probably going to be quite skewed nutritionally and macros-wise. That I probably won’t have Huel so much to make room for other huge meals. But still try to choose healthier options. To drink vodka with diet lemonade. (LOOOL) To dance the night away!
  7. Try my best to IF, but know it’s ultimately CICO. Skipping breakfast just helps me to save on the calories for snacks and meals. I’ll always break my fast at 12ish and try to close the window at 8 or latest 9. Sometimes it’s unavoidable to have predrinks at 9+, and for the night where I’m working from 6.30pm to 7am…welp we’ll see how that goes.
  8. KNOW THAT I have so many steps that I can be harsher and more disciplined on myself on when my routine stabilises a bit more! I really am trying.

1 week at a time, you got this! Now go focus on exams!


#134

Chris, what the hell is CS? I keep seeing it and being all like :thinking:


#135

Day 53

Weight: 58.2kg sigh.

Food Intake: (1520kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS
  • Kinda binge again sighs—eatcs 111g choc cake, eatcs 2 packets sunbites & 1 packet sour cream pop chips im not doing well sigh but I can still make the rest of the day good! 12-8 & good choices
  • Snacks – 100g blueberries, 3 chewing gum, salad w 5 cherry tomatoes & sesame sauce & 1/2 cajun chicken (this altogether was 255kcal and felt like such a huge snack! Salad has so much volume dayum why don’t I do this more?)
  • Dinner – Salmon w cream sauce and mushrooms :mushroom:, zucchini & aubergine :eggplant:, 1/2t Cadbury chocolate spread

Exercise: Some cycling & 1h workout (stairclimber, full body circuit, ~400kcal burnt)

Other Observations:

  • So I realised I couldn’t keep living like that; binging in private and being unable to eat with friends in public without purging. And so when pseudo-bf asked me if I wanted to eat salmon @ his Hall (was only £2.40!!!), although I’d already planned dinner and ate way too much at lunch I decided to. I was on the verge of purging ngl but I distracted myself with cuddles (also hard when you feel like a fCKING WHALE :whale:) and then went off to workout with a Friend after.
  • Self-realisation: When my goals seem too overwhelming and unreliable, I tend to be paralysed and not be able to try at all. So I need to calibrate my goals to the means I have to achieve them (bearing in mind that I DO have more means than I realise and don’t use that as an excuse to be lazy)
  • ED: I suppose this phase rn is somewhat like when I was freaking out about eating sugar when coming off 100% Huel. All comes down to a lack of control. It was a good thing that I ate out today; I hope I don’t gain weight (since tracking accurately is difficult when eating out), but I did make a balanced and pretty healthy choice of eating salmon with roasted zucchini & squash & aubergine. I was tempted to purge but didn’t. And eating out isn’t a disaster: I didn’t go back and binge! And dinner was delicious, too, not to mention my pseudo-bf’s company. I think that’s what I’m afraid of: that I’m only mentally satisfied with my own carefully controlled food and macros, so if I go out, I’m physically full but still go back and binge.
  • After doing this, I’m a lot more confident that I WILL be able to manage eating out next week. I’m also determined to step up my exercise since I can’t eat all these extra calories and be surprised if/when I gain weight. :stuck_out_tongue: EXAMS ARE OVER IN 3 DAYS!!!

#136

Day 54

Weight: 58.0kg eating out isn’t the devil! + I should really workout regularly haha then my TDEE could easily be 2100-2300kcal

Food Intake: (1594kcal)

  • 112g CoffeeHuel, 3g ChocFS can you tell I’m trying to use this up? :stuck_out_tongue:
  • 2.5 Tesco brioche buns
  • Snacks—100g blueberries, 3 chewing gum, 1 packet seaweed
  • Dinner (I)—salad leaves w some sesame sauce, 5 cherry tomatoes, 10 slices chicken
  • Dinner—~3/4 Cajun chicken, ~25 10g roasted squash, mushroom w cream sauce
  • Sweets—1 Nutella B-Ready, 2 Hazelnut mini cups

Other Observations:

  • I used to take say 20-30 minutes to eat my Huel with a spoon…and now it takes me 10min and that’s a stretch. I need to slow down!! Makes me feel like throwing up a bit. But it tastes so good I can’t help it :stuck_out_tongue:
  • I’ve decided that I’ll make 100g Huel shakes for the next week or so with the same volume of water so it’s 50kcal less but is still 400kcal aka what my mind constitutes as a meal of its own.
  • I don’t think I really ate unhealthily today? Sans measured portion of sweets & some brioche. Friends ordered Chinese and I was tempted but nah not worth it. Next week has tons of social gatherings! I’m doing the best I can welp. Exam tomorrow!
  • Buuuut also I think I ate way too many roasted veggies? Like 20 to 30… and it’s uncontrolled calories + mushroom cream source. Idk man. Ugh maybe I should’ve just thrown the squash away.
  • My inner thighs and triceps are aching haha

#137

Day 55

Weight: 57.9kg

Food Intake: (~1633kcal or more)

  • 3 brioche&cs
  • 100g NewHuel, MatchaFS
  • Snacks—10mstrawberries, 36g chicken w BBQ sauce 1 Nutella B-Ready, 7.25 butterfinger cups, 1 packet seaweed, 10 slices ham
  • Binge :frowning: —brownie, keropok, 2 pastries
  • Dinner—mixed veg w sesame sauce, squash, 1 brioche

Other Observations:

  • This is a period in which I try to get mentally accustomed to eating out without being triggered to binge or purge from lack of control. I’ve eaten unknown calorie things for the last 2 days, and the world hasn’t ended. I can do it for the next week too, and just try my best to estimate.
  • I broke my fast an hour early because I was stressing about exams oh well.
  • I’m done. I’m just so done. One more exam tomorrow I’m so exhausted! :frowning:

#138

I just scrolled back to the first post, when you were at 60kg. While your posts have a lot of entertaining drama and suggest big ups & downs (emotionally if not in weight), fact is: you have been losing about 1kg/month. That’s reasonable, sustainable progress and is not so far off the track to your original target. Go you!

To a casual bystander, it seems as if your rapidly fluctuating emotions are your biggest challenge. Have you ever tried meditation? Consider it.


#139

I’ve been wondering that too. Was thinking I’m the only tool that doesn’t know what it is! Also what are these butterfinger things?


#140

Yeah what is cs tho


#141

Ahaha let’s just say it’s an ED thing
A little note I make when I’m using food to Cope w Stress or somethin (aka all the time)

Sublime bites of heaven I’m obsessed with! 26kcal per PB cup I never thought I could eat PB cups guilt free :’)


#142

Day 56 (No Huel)

Weight: 57.7kg

Food Intake: (~2100kcal)

  • 1/2 free birthday Ferrero Crepe from Crêpeaffaire
  • Snacks—4 slices ham, 12 strawberries, 100g roasted squash
  • Sweets—5 kinder bueno, 1/3rd white choc cookie, 1/4 twin cookie
  • Formal Dinner—Beetroot risotto w goat cheese, aubergine w beans, some Eton mess, ~400ml wine

Other Observations:

  • After taking the plunge to eat out with the pseudo-bf and not purge, I’m a lot less distressed at the thought of eating out many times this week! I AM in control and I can determine how much I eat (and also try to dance it off!)
  • 7.05pm: Ohgawd I ate ~900-1000kcal already which isn’t too bad…but that’s before even the Formal Dinner and drinks :frowning: so gonna bust today but I’ll keep trying!
  • So…like most people I use food as reward and happiness…which I’m working on but haha it feels difficult to stop myself from splurging at the end of exams!!! Feels like I’ve worked hard for relaxation yknow?
  • Welp I overate but even though my friends left the club I was lowkey very determined to get at least 10000 steps in at the club :stuck_out_tongue: end up getting 12000+ before 3am, so hopefully I won’t gain tooooo much. Will try to be more active and consistent tmr!

#143

Day 57

Weight: 57.3kg didnt gain from going out, and lost instead! but I’m bearing in mind GTIPuG’s log of “probably being very dehydrated” oh well xD

Food Intake: (2043kcal)

  • 1/3rd of 100g CoffeeHuel w 3g ChocFS the fridge shut off so it went bad :frowning:*
  • 45g Huel granola to the rescue!
  • 1/2 packet pork scratchings
  • Snacks—6 slices ham, 5 cherry tomatoes, 1 mini Milky Way was getting p hungry by 4.45pm
  • Sweets—28g raspberry brownie&cs
  • Formal Dinner—

Exercise: 1h frisbee + clubbing later I aim to tear up the dance floor and reach at least 8000 steps by dancing tonight :wink:

Other Observations:

  • Fitbit Motivations: It’s actually great having the Fitbit and seeing (rough) calories burnt, if I’m able to use it as an objective tool. Wanting to get more steps in on the dance floor probably ramped up that letting loose and DANCING MY HEART OUT! :smiley: ~13000 steps, 700kcal :wink: Which means my net Intake was probably around 1500-1600kcal. “Burning off” extra calories really is hard work though!
  • ED: I’ll probably have to properly think through this relationship betweeen exercising and burning calories, because I don’t want it to get disordered. I don’t like the idea of “burn off this ice cream!” “Workout so I can eat later!” “One cookie means you have to walk up 15 flights of stairs!” The thing about bulimia is that the underlying mechanism IS compensation. Compensating by purging, over-exercising, fasting, laxatives, etc. That’s why I never wanted to see how many calories I was burning during exercise. I wanted to keep exercise as an additional thing I didn’t factor in or “eat back”. I’ve always thought it’s so much easier to restrict food or fast than to “exercise it off” since you can’t outtrain a bad diet. BUT this Fitbit (aka knowing how much I’m burning; exercise calories and heart rate etc) is but a tool that I simply have to use properly to maximise its benefits
  1. Exercise to feel strong and capable and healthy, for the endorphins
  2. The Fitbit is motivation to push a little harder, to say yes instead of no to movement and activities
  3. Exercise is not punishment, I deserve to eat regardless of whether I exercise
  4. Exercise to increase my TDEE, since life’s good food and good company is not something to be missed out on! How great would it be if I could go out and enjoy life AND still manage my weight!
  5. Exercise because it improves your quality of life
  6. Still eat 1350-1550kcal for mental sanity and food enjoyment and adequate nutrients
  • I’m really bad at “saving my calories for later in the day” like nah it just doesn’t happen