I have lost all the weight twice , once when young and daft I did it really fast on a salad only diet which of course lead to me being ill. I went from 17.5 stone down to 12 stone in 3 months.
Over several years I went up to 21.5 stone with a tone of fluctuations along the way. I then lost 9 stone in 9 months in a 12 step addiction group supervised healthy eating plan reaching 12.5 stone.Unfortunately I then became very unwell with worsening bipolar and my sponsor refused to carry on working with me, I tried other sponsors but none could cope with me when unwell. In the space of a year my support system was removed, my father died, my husband left me, then to top it off I was physically assulted. Anyone would be messed up after that lot.
I do have bipolar, it is a chemical imbalence in the brain, no amount of willing myself out of it will make bipolar go away and unfortunately it makes me clinically insane for large chunks of time.Imagine taking a load of LSD and trying to follow a healthy life plan. That is what bipolar is like. I have taken all kinds of prescribed medication to try and get it under control but 7 years of different medications later I am still working with a psychiatrist to try and find a combination that stabilises my condition. When I am not suicidally depressed or insane I make myself eat healthy and I lose some weight but those times are brief before the bipolar kicks off again. In those 7 years I went up to 24 stone again with many many fluctuations along the way.
Everytime I regain my ability to think straight I put my all into finding solutions. I am not blaming anyone else for my size or my illness. My bipolar is a medical illness, binge eating disorder is something I fell into at a very young age as an unfortunate coping mechanism for lots of things that I do not want to share here. I developed bipolar in my teens but it was not properly diagnosed until it got really bad in my late 20’s.
I can control binge eating when bipolar is stable in between the insane highs and suicidal lows. When suicidal or insane all control goes out the window. I have asked to be hospitalised but the NHS is so swamped, mental health system just does not have the rescourses to help me in that way.
I posted on here just to share my Huel journey with others. There was never a question. I am not asking for advice. I thought the forum was a place where people were allowed to share their journey and progress , a bit of camaraderie thats all I am here for. I see a psychiatrist for my mental health questions.
Thank you for your good wishes , I will keep on fighting to get well until I get there or I will die still trying