Hello everyone! So, I’ve been using Huel for a while now and I’m onto my 7th bag. But unfortunately I’m still finding myself binging in between Huels. In fact I can’t remember a day when I didn’t binge. For example yesterday I had two caramel slices from Cafe Nero (375 calories each!), and today was even worse!
The Huel is great because it fills me up and gives me energy. But my anxiety disorder is still there and I’ve still got deep conditioning that certain foods which I ate as a kid will make me feel okay. Usually pizza, crisps, or caramel slices. I live in London, I’m in the centre most days and there are always things that “trigger” me - often it’s just reading all the bad things in the newspaper. My nervous system is very easily knocked into fight/flight/eat mode and there are so many food outlets around, so each day I’m stuck in the same pattern.
Over the past five years I had long periods of going to Overeaters Anonymous, where the starting point is to accept that you’re powerless over your addictive food behaviours, and the answer is to live life on a spiritual basis. It really works for some people but I never got the level of surrender or desperation it requires.
The standard OA diet is “three meals a day, no sugar, no white flour.” The longest I ever managed that for was 20 days, in 5 years of on/off attempts. Now I’d ideally like to do 90% Huel - four 100g drinks a day + two pieces of fruit + a piece of mackerel or salmon if I’ve exercised that day. But something has to change - my anxiety or my attitude - for me to stick to that.
I don’t drink alcohol at all, and I’m on my eighth day without coffee. I see a personal trainer (30 sessions so far) and I’m also going to 4 or 5 yoga classes each week as it calms me down and helps restore my focus. I plan to swim more, as I feel that’s the best cardio for me. I’m on my second day of taking St John’s Wort and Gingko biloba, but otherwise I’m not on any medication and don’t have any history of it either.
I’m down 17lbs in the past three months but not able to make further progress. I must have a mental block around not letting myself feel my emotions, and not letting myself lose weight. I can have a day where I do two hours of exercise, but then just eat more calories so that I’m not at a deficit. I’m conscious that I’m generally dissatisfied with my life - but also that all my energy has gone around trying to make myself feel better, instead of “trying to make my life better”, or “trying to make other people feel better” - so maybe the eating’s just a reflection of that, and things will only get better once I accept I can’t actually improve how I feel.
Let me finish this with a question! Have any of you found yourselves still binging despite trying to follow a Huel diet? And have you managed to overcome it?